


Somebody to Love

by Reyanth



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Creepy Orochimaru (Naruto), Emotional Baggage, Infinite Tsukuyomi, Kage Bunshin | Shadow Clones, Light Masochism, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyanth/pseuds/Reyanth
Summary: Naruto just wants to know what it feels like to love and be loved.Iruka wants the best for Naruto, but he's not yet sure what that is.Sasuke cares for Naruto, but the darkness calls to him, and he knows that Naruto cannot follow where he must go.Haunted by the ghosts of his past and an unrequited love that left him scarred, Kakashi clings to his belief that Naruto and Sasuke are meant to be, and that he can bring them together, even at the cost of his own heart.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Namikaze Minato, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Itachi, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto, Orochimaru/Yakushi Kabuto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 12
Kudos: 6





	1. Awakenings

**Author's Note:**

> When I first began this story about 15+ (O.o) years ago, I naively thought that Naruto was the main protagonist when (as you can probably tell by looking at the pairings) Kakashi has the stronger presence. Another reason it stalled for so long was because I needed to know how everything played out (the anime was on S5 when I started) before I could really write the fic I wanted to write. Now that I know who this fic centers around and where it's going, I have at last been able to write the grand Naruto smutfest I have always dreamed of! Yay! There's a good chance this will expand into Boruto once I've covered the major points of the Naruto story arc. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Particularly in Chapter One, there's some old-school use of italics for thoughts (I used to write those!? O.o) and emphasis that I've had to edit back in manually because Ao3 hates Evernote. Hopefully, I haven't missed any of the contextual nuance. There's a lot less of that in my contemporary style, thankfully. @_@ (We really did rely on a lot of font clues, back then. HTML was just so exciting!)
> 
> On that note, despite editing, the first chapter might have a slight stylistic disconnect to a more refined writing style in later chapters. Please take it with a grain of salt.

_Having been informed of Hatake Kakashi’s record of failed students, Iruka was a little more than worried. He knew that Naruto had what it would take to become a good ninja, but the decision was no longer up to him._

_It was most probably too late by the time he found the jounin, but Iruka felt that he had to speak with him at least, even to hear about Naruto’s performance and set straight any misgivings on a personal level._

_The man was lounging around in a bar, reading. That was a good sign, at least. Reading on off hours was usually resigned for the intelligent. Then again, that might be a bad thing for Naruto…_

_“Hatake, Kakashi?” Iruka asked, as he approached._

_“Aa?” The jounin looked up at him and closed the book._

_Iruka had seen Kakashi once or twice, but had never really looked at him. Regardless of the cloth covering most of his face, he seemed quite attractive. Of course, there was always the added bonus of mystery._

_Taking the seat across from the jounin, Iruka clasped his hands to keep himself from fidgeting. He suddenly felt a little nervous._

_“We've met, a few times,” he reminded. “I teach at the academy. I just wanted, well, I believe you were assigned three of my best students, today, and-”_

_“Three?” Kakashi asked, somehow managing to look bewildered even though his face was covered._

_That question worried Iruka. It insinuated that at least one had been deemed worthy and most likely passed, but at least one had not._

_“Yes,” he insisted. “Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto.”_

_“Didn’t Naruto finish at the bottom of the class?” Kakashi asked, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms._

_“He did, but he has a great deal of potential. He works hard, and he’s dedicated. His marks are a reflection of a school environment, not his true ability as a ninja. In fact he’s very clever in his own way, especially when there’s something at stake.” Explaining all this, Iruka felt a little sheepish. He believed in Naruto, but when faced with someone so calm and cool, it was hard to sound confident. "Besides... You were the one who helped me to see through all the pranks and brave fronts... Naruto is a loyal and dedicated ninja, with a strong will of fire." Kakashi stayed quiet, his one visible eye trained on Iruka, who cleared his throat, and continued. “I came to ask how the three of them did.”_

_The jounin blinked slowly, seeming to consider for a moment. “I’ll admit that Sasuke was impressive. At least, compared to the other two. Sakura seems quite clever, but is more focused on a young girl’s romanticism than becoming a ninja. As for Naruto, well… Naruto…”_

_“He’s not an idiot!” Iruka cut in angrily, feeling the need to defend the student who was so much like himself._

_Kakashi waited until he’d settled back down into his seat, and then continued. “I never said he was, nor was I going to. Naruto…shows promising determination and persistence, if not true skill.”_

_“Oh.” Suddenly Iruka felt a little silly. He regretted ever meeting this man, or even going to the Hokage in the first place, but since he was there, he had to know. “Then…”_

_“Did Naruto pass?”_

_Iruka nodded._

_“The three of them…will make an interesting team,” Kakashi said at last with a twinkle in his eye._

_Iruka sighed in relief, expelling the breath that had caught in his throat. “They passed? All three?”_

_“All three,” Kakashi confirmed, and even if he couldn’t see the man’s mouth, Iruka swore he was grinning. “So, since I was kind enough to pass your pet student…”_

_“Pet? I don’t have favorites,” Iruka said hastily, biting his lip in an old nervous habit._

_“Of course not, and in that case, you won’t thank me out loud for passing him. So, you’ll have to thank me some other way. Like, oh, say, a date. I’ll meet you here tomorrow at seven.” With a chuckle and a puff of dramatic smoke, Kakashi was gone, leaving Iruka to stare at the vacant seat, completely floored._

*

That seemed like such a long time ago, now. Kakashi and Iruka had been casual lovers ever since. They understood each other well, and each allowed the other’s needs. Kakashi tolerated Iruka’s feelings for Naruto, whilst Iruka tolerated Kakashi’s need for space, and his tendency to be late for every arrangement they made, beginning with that first, disastrous date. Not to mention his crude comments about Naruto and Sasuke. Even though they had many differences, they talked about almost everything with each other and had become good friends above all.

Upon Kakashi’s return from the Wave Country, he had shown up in Iruka’s living room to tell the tale, and receive his homecoming gift. He leaned against the wall as he told the story of how a C rank mission had elevated to an A rank, and how the three genin had completed the mission against all odds, despite certain injuries and obstacles.

Iruka turned away and threw his arms up, growling in frustration. “How typical of Naruto!” he shouted. “I know he heals quickly, but even he will fall to poison! What if he hadn’t extracted it all? What if-?”

A deep chuckle cut him off, along with the body pressed against his back. “Iruka…” Kakashi hooked his thumb beneath Iruka’s belt, grazing it back and forth over the soft skin. “It always amazes me how strong your feelings for him are,” he breathed into the sensei’s ear. “Any normal man would be jealous.”

“Naruto and I… We’re very similar,” Iruka replied, leaning against Kakashi’s chest and reaching back to hook his arms around his lover’s neck. “Even so, he’s like a symbol of everything I wish to be. He’s strong, and proud…and resilient. He’ll never give up. Naruto is… Naruto is special.”

“He certainly is,” Kakashi whispered, his warm breath caressing Iruka’s neck. “That’s why you have to let him go. He doesn’t need you anymore.”

Closing his eyes, Iruka let out a long sigh. “That is hard for me to accept, but perhaps you’re right. He doesn’t need me as a teacher. However, there is something Naruto needs which I can give him.”

“Oh? And what might that be?” asked Kakashi as he slipped his hand down to toy with wiry curls.

With a quiet moan, Iruka let his head fall back onto Kakashi’s shoulder. “He needs someone to love him, and someone to love.”

One long finger skimmed across the sensitive flesh of the Iruka’s growing erection. “And you think that ‘someone’ should be you?”

Taking several deliberate breaths, Iruka suppressed a series of trembles. “Yes,” he answered at last. “I think it should be me.”

“Why?” Kakashi’s fingers curled around the instructor’s erection. Slowly, he began to stroke.

Iruka’s voice sounded strained as his back arched involuntarily. “Because I do love him, and I also understand him.”

“Do you think that’s enough for Naruto to love you back?” Kakashi pulled his mask down, and took the lobe of Iruka’s ear into his mouth, running the tip of his tongue along the underside.

“I d-do.” Iruka’s composure was long gone. “I was the first to acknowledge him.”

“Ah, but is Naruto’s most potent ambition not strength?” Kakashi’s fingers swiped over the pre-cum pooled at the tip of Iruka’s cock, and used it to aid his strokes, sliding his hand faster over the rigid flesh. “He looks to me to take him further. Further away from you and the Academy.”

“Ka-Kakashi… You’re missing one im-p-portant poi-eeahhh!” With a cry, Iruka came, shuddering as his seed coated the inside of his underwear. Breathing deeply, he relaxed his hold on Kakashi’s neck. “I buy him ramen,” he said as he slid to the floor, the ranking shinobi dropping down behind him.

Laughing softly, Kakashi slipped his arms around Iruka’s waist, drawing the man back against him. He pulled off Iruka’s hair tie with his teeth, and spat it away. “I like you with your hair down,” he whispered, burying his face in brown locks.

Sighing, Iruka rubbed his hand back and forth over Kakashi’s thigh. “Tell me, Kakashi, what is it you want from Naruto?”

There was a momentary silence, but then Kakashi spoke. “Not all relationships are about love. I want Naruto’s happiness, not his heart. I don’t agree with you, Iruka. I believe that what Naruto needs is someone to mess around with. He’s a frustrated teen. He needs experience.”

“How blunt you are,” Iruka replied as he turned and sat up on his knees. He rested both hands on Kakashi’s thighs and slowly moved them up towards the jounin’s clothed erection. He never lost eye contact as he then pulled Kakashi’s pants down, sliding them slowly off. Like a jungle cat, he came back up, running his left cheek up the inside of his prey’s thigh, his loose hair tickling the jounin’s skin. “We’ll see who knows Naruto best,” he said, and then pounced to take Kakashi into his mouth.

Any reply was choked off with a strangled gasp. Kakashi’s hands fell to tangle in Iruka’s hair and he barely controlled himself from bucking into the wet heat consuming him.

Taking Kakashi’s erection as far into his mouth as he could, Iruka then pulled back again, blowing cool air over his lingering saliva. His tongue darted out to circle around the head, drawing a long, low moan from his prey.

“Iruka…” whispered Kakashi, his eyes tightly closed.

He felt the heat swallow him again, and threw his head back, groaning loudly as he was taken in almost completely. Iruka’s throat muscles constricted around him. Unwilling to hold back any longer, he relaxed and a light climax zapped through him, hot liquid shooting down Iruka’s throat.

Once Kakashi lay flat, Iruka crawled up beside him, licking his lips as he rested his head on the man’s chest. Then, on hind thought, he sat up and leaned over Kakashi, pressing their lips together and slipping his tongue inside, letting the jounin taste the remnants of his own essence.

Kakashi wound his arms around Iruka’s waist, allowing the instructor to plunder his mouth as he returned the favor. Their teeth and tongues clashed in a kiss that was part aggression and part possession. In the end, neither won.

Iruka finally pulled back for breath and looked into Kakashi’s eyes. His lover and rival… Slipping the man’s mask back in place over his mouth, Iruka settled on his chest again.

“We shall see,” he whispered. “Naruto may surprise us both.”

*

Naruto growled, pulling his kunai from the log which had, only a moment ago, looked like Sasuke. Meanwhile, Sakura was fuming and slowly advancing on him.

“What do you think you are doing?! This is sparring! You aren’t meant to really attack! You could have hurt him! What if…!?”

Naruto rolled his eyes and tried to ignore her annoying voice. He was long past the stage of wishing she’d say the same for him. Instead, he tried to block her out and focused on Sasuke, his unique aura, his presence off to the left in one of the trees. But he couldn’t figure out which with Sakura buzzing around him.

“Will you shut up?” he finally snapped, his eyes flashing. “How can I train with you nattering away at me? I didn’t think it would actually hit him, and if it did then he would have deserved it. Besides, I was only aiming for his leg.” As he said the last, he was distracted again, and reminded himself that Sasuke was lurking in wait to attack.

He barely noticed that Sakura had slipped into a rare, sullen silence at his ire. He looked around, listening carefully for a more distinct rustling than the swaying of the trees. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, Sasuke was on top of him, knocking him to the ground.

Naruto had whipped out a kunai, but Sasuke grabbed both his arms at the wrists, twisting the right until the dagger slipped from his grasp. “I won’t lose,” he snarled, heaving his body upwards, twisting at the same time so that he landed above Sasuke.

Using the weight of his whole body, he pressed down on Sasuke, not leaving an inch for the boy to maneuver. He twisted his arm in so that his elbow rested just above his rival’s windpipe, despite the hands desperately holding off his own.

Grinning, Naruto waited for some kind of surrender, but it never came. Sasuke just stared back up at him with a blank, unsettling look. There was no fire in his eyes; no sign that they were in the middle of a fight. Instead, his gaze was shadowed, something lurking beneath the surface that Naruto couldn’t quite discern. A moment later, Naruto was on his back again, having let down his guard just enough to be knocked off balance.

“That was a dirty trick,” he spat.

Something tugged at the corner of Sasuke’s mouth. It could have been a smile. “You fell for it,” he answered.

Naruto was caught between disgust for allowing himself to be distracted, and struggling not to acknowledge that little voice in the back of his mind saying, "It’s not so bad being pinned like this by Sasuke."

Sasuke’s dark eyes stared down at him, waiting for retaliation or an admission of surrender. Glaring back up at him, Naruto locked gazes with deep, dark depths, and his breath caught in his throat.

“Why don’t you just surrender already?” Sasuke asked, pinning Naruto’s arms above his head.

That didn’t help. Naruto just couldn’t focus. He was incredibly tempted to arch his back and let his body come into direct contact with the one holding him down. _What the hell is wrong with me?!_ he thought furiously. _I can’t believe I’m acting like this! Sakura…_ Suddenly, he remembered that Sakura was nearby and felt a traitorous blush creep over his cheeks. He just wished that Sasuke would let him go already, before the boy noticed how distracted he was.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sasuke asked, frowning down at him. “You’re never this quiet.”

The note of disapproval in his rival’s voice spurred Naruto back to action. He grinned, stretching out his body as though he was entirely comfortable. “Sorry, I guess this battle just got so boring that I started to fall asleep,” he quipped.

He was rescued by a familiar snort of amusement.

*

Kakashi had arrived in time to see Naruto pinned to the grass. Naturally, he kept himself hidden and watched the scene play out. Events grew rather interesting as the boys engaged in a battle for dominance, the nature of which neither quite comprehended...although Sakura did.

He saw the intensity in Sasuke’s eyes that could have been mistaken for anger or hatred. A while ago, it would have been, but Kakashi had watched him grow, along with the bond between Sasuke and Naruto.

He saw the confusion in the blond’s eyes. The embarrassment and the denial... He recognized the uncharacteristic silence for an internal debate. Naruto still wasn’t comfortable with honest human interaction, having been shunned for the majority of his life. If things had been different, he probably would have voiced his need to be let go. It was obvious that the boy was terrified of giving himself away.

He also saw the surprise and hurt in Sakura’s eyes. The girl was sharp, and watching from an outside perspective just as he was. No doubt she would have noticed the way Naruto had been brushing her off of late, when not long ago he had struggled for her acceptance. Now, she finally understood why; as well as Sasuke’s constant rejection. She seemed torn between the wish for the scene to come to an end and a self preservation instinct not to interfere.

As Naruto finally reverted to his familiar, jovial self, Kakashi made his presence known with a very ungraceful snort.

“I’m hurt,” he said. “You started without me.”

The two boys looked at him in surprise.

Sasuke―still pinning Naruto to the grass―flicked his head to shake the hair from his eyes. “You were late, as usual.”

“Not at all,” Kakashi replied with smirk. “I was here the whole time.”

“Liar,” spat Sakura, rolling her eyes. “You only just got here a couple of minutes ago.”

“Oh, you noticed, did you?” _Point to the overly observant little ninja girl,_ he thought wryly. “You can let him up now,” he added in an aside to Sasuke.

Blushing just slightly, Sasuke complied, sitting back and lifting a knee to his chest. Slowly, Naruto sat up and shot him a brief glare.

“Well, we have no mission today, and it’s almost lunch time so we’d better get down to the river.” He began to walk away, knowing the others would follow. “Today, we catch fish. What you catch, you eat.”

“How is that training?” asked a skeptical Naruto, back on task.

“You’ll be using your chakra and hands,” Kakashi answered, not needing to look back and see three grimaces he knew were there.

*

Naruto dived into the water and came up again, shaking out his hair. The water was warm, but still cooler than the hot midday air. It was welcome refreshment. He looked around, confident that he was far enough downstream that he wouldn’t see either Sasuke or Sakura. That had been Kakashi’s only instruction, so that they didn’t interfere with each other’s success by their own attempts.

Wading out a little further, he waited for the waters to still and a small school to approach. When the fish swam past, he dived beneath the surface again and grabbed one in each hand. As he came up for air, they slipped and slid and almost escaped, but he threw them onto the bank where they couldn’t swim away.

Pleased, Naruto grinned at his success. He wouldn’t be going hungry today.

However, for the next five minutes, not one fish swam by, alerted by the commotion. Naruto had to stay as still as possible so that they would get used to his presence again. Then, when they grew bolder and another school swam near him. He lunged again, and caught another in his hands.

“I thought you might have learned at least the basics of subtlety by now,” mocked a voice behind him.

Turning, Naruto took in the sight of Kakashi wearing only his pants and the undershirt that came up over half his face.

“I caught it, didn’t I?” he asked, annoyed.

Kakashi took his catch from him, and threw it over to the bank with the other two. “I wasn’t talking about the fish,” the jounin replied, but before Naruto could ask, he continued. “I meant Sasuke.”

“Huh?”

“You needn’t have been so blatantly obvious in front of poor Sakura, you know.”

“What are you talking about?” Naruto asked, his eyes narrowing.

Kakashi laughed. Obviously, he was enjoying himself. “I know that Sasuke’s completely clueless, but you at least should have some idea. Or was that a kunai in your pocket?”

Despite himself, Naruto began to blush again. “Go away,” he said irritably.

“I don’t think so.” Instead, Kakashi leaned forward, pulling the mask down to his neck. His breath tickled Naruto’s ear. “I’d rather stay here.”

“What do you want?” Naruto asked through grit teeth, attempting to ignore the hand sliding up his arm, the scent of the man attached to it, and the warm breath puffing against his neck, followed by lips. If he turned his head a little, he could see what usually lay under that damn mask...

“That depends. What do you want?” Kakashi asked, ensuring that his lips tickled the boy’s skin as his other arm slid around Naruto’s bare waist.

Naruto knew he should pull away. He told himself he wasn’t gay, that his attraction to Sasuke was his imagination, a one off, a result of the adrenaline he’d been filled with. He lied. Then, he shifted around to move, and the moment he saw Kakashi’s face, his jaw dropped. He was stunned, staring at the handsome features that had always been covered.

Without time for any sort of answer, the jounin’s lips pressed against Naruto’s. Instinctively, he opened his mouth and let his tongue tangle with Kakashi’s. With this affirmation of his consent, the arms around him drew him closer against a clothed chest, hard muscles rippling beneath the material. His own hands lightly grasped Kakashi’s waist and he tilted his head back a little further to deepen the kiss before pulling back.

“Why are you doing this?” he whispered, leaning into the arms that were holding him and tilting his head to the side as Kakashi dipped once more to kiss his neck, this time grazing the skin with a flick of his tongue.

“I assume I’m right in guessing that in spite of your reaction to Sasuke today, you’ve never been with another guy―or anyone.” Naruto nodded. “Then, as your team leader, it is my duty to educate you.” The hand around his waist slipped to the band of his boxer shorts, one finger tracing the indent in the small of his back down past the waist band. “If that’s what you want, of course.” Kakashi looked into his eyes then, halting all action.

Slowly, Naruto nodded. He knew that his face was flushed, his eyes were slightly glazed, and his boxers contained a definite arousal. He moved a little closer, boldly pressing his hardness against the man’s thigh and feeling a thick erection poke into his abdomen.

Some instinct deep within him wanted to run far, far away―the part that had been scarred by a life of rejection and resentment―but another part of him was curious. He might never have a chance to be with Sasuke, or anyone else for that matter. Kakashi was offering him an experience he’d never expected.

Smiling, Kakashi took his lips in another kiss, this one fiercer and more possessive. The thigh between his legs massaged his hardness, causing Naruto to moan into the jounin’s mouth and shift his hips, seeking more friction. He lifted his arms around the man’s neck, pressing their bodies flush together as he sucked on Kakashi’s tongue.

When they finally broke for air again, each was breathing hard, and horny as hell. Try as he might, Naruto couldn’t resist rubbing himself slowly against that hard muscled thigh. It felt so good.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto whispered, pausing a moment for the rest of the sentence to catch up with him. “I…” he still didn’t know what to say.

Kakashi cupped his face in one hand, the other softly, teasingly stroking the crevasse leading to Naruto’s ass. “Uzumaki Naruto, lost for words… A rare moment indeed.” The finger dipped a little lower, barely grazing the boy’s entrance.

It didn’t quite feel good, but definitely pleasant, a promise of more. “I―I want…” Naruto let his chin fall to his chest and took several deep breaths, grateful not to be pressed in the meantime. “I want to know what it feels like to be with someone.”

Slipping his other hand between them, Kakashi began to rub Naruto’s erection through his shorts. “Not here,” the jounin breathed, keeping his voice barely above a whisper.

Naruto moaned, burying his face in Kakashi’s chest even as he bucked forward into the hand cupping his erection. “Wherever. It doesn’t matter,” he ground out, his boner twitched in his damp shorts, hard and aching.

Taking mercy on him, Kakashi slipped his hand inside and stroked swiftly. “Tonight,” he said. “At your place.” Then, his finger brushed over Naruto’s entrance once more and the boy came with a deep, shuddering breath.

Before he knew it, Kakashi was gone and Naruto was alone. Bonelessly, he sank into the water, breathing heavily and still shaking slightly. Part of him tried to smack himself over the head for acting so recklessly. The other part was already creating a small stirring in his groin at the thought of meeting Kakashi that night.

*

Sasuke knew something was up when Kakashi asked them to spread out. He’d seen the amused glint in the man’s visible eye. Besides… fishing? That was hardly training at this point, not even for Sakura.

Naturally, Sasuke was suspicious. So, naturally, he abandoned his spot and took off down the river, first to check on Sakura, and then Naruto. Even he was surprised to see Kakashi strip off his excess clothing and wade into the river behind the blond.

Curious, he watched the jounin surprise Naruto, and then tease him. In itself, that was not unusual, but there was something about the way Kakashi had split them up, something about how he advanced slowly as if stalking unsuspecting prey…

“I wasn’t talking about the fish. I meant Sasuke.”

That couldn’t be good.

“Huh?”

“You needn’t have been so blatantly obvious in front of poor Sakura, you know.”

Blatantly obvious? About what? Surely he didn’t mean… Of course not. No… Naruto wasn’t… He hadn’t… He couldn’t have been. Nothing had happened.

“What are you talking about?”

For once, Sasuke was just as bewildered as Naruto. At least, he hoped he was, because if he wasn’t and his suspicions as to what Kakashi meant were on the mark…

“I know that Sasuke’s completely clueless.” _WHAT?_ “But you at least should have some idea. Or was that a kunai in your pocket?”

_Oh, hell._ There were times when Sasuke hated being right. This was one of them.

Kakashi’s voice faded out as a furious debate chased itself around Sasuke’s mind. Just what had happened earlier, and was he the only one to ignore it? But he couldn’t be… Why Naruto? Of all the guys he could fall for, why...? _Fall for? Fuck…_ No. There was just no way. He did not like Naruto. He did not like _anybody_! Especially not a guy who was generally clueless about anything regarding morals or subtlety. He was _not_ falling…for…Naruto…

They were kissing. Deeply.

Sasuke took a long, deep breath. I am not jealous, he insisted. I’m just a little confused. _What I feel for Naruto must be brotherly love. It’s something I’ve never felt before. Not surprising that I’d take it totally the wrong way._

“I assume I’m right in guessing that in spite of your reaction to Sasuke today, you’ve never been with another guy―or anyone.”

Sasuke groaned under his breath. _Nope. Not brotherly love._

He remembered the feel of Naruto on top of him, remembered looking down at those fierce blue eyes; as well as the frozen silence that just couldn’t be associated with the "number one hyperactive ninja". He’d known something was wrong, but he never would have guessed…

_Naruto,_ Sasuke thought desperately. _What are you doing to me?_

A wanton moan issued from the river and Sasuke felt his face flame. He should leave. He shouldn’t be listening to this. It was wrong in so many ways…

Sasuke closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, taking several calming breaths. He’d convinced himself to leave when Naruto spoke again, and the pure lust in his tone almost caused Sasuke to fall out of the tree. Not good.

That was about the point when he realized that he was hard, and the next thing he heard didn’t help much.

“I―I want… I want to know what it feels like to be with someone.”

Burying his face in his hands, Sasuke tried to pretend that he hadn’t heard that, or anything else, and that he wasn’t aching to touch himself―or better yet, touch Naruto. Failing miserably, he peered around the tree branch before he could stop himself.

The expression on Naruto’s face was absolutely breathtaking, and Sasuke practically had to stuff a fist into his mouth to ward off the moan that wanted so desperately to escape. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Morals and ethics be damned, it fucking hurt.

He slipped his hand inside his shorts and curled his fingers around his cock, stroking slowly, and then gradually faster. He turned his head to the side and bit his free arm to keep from crying out. Then, he heard a splash as Naruto grunted and fell into the water.

Resting his head against the tree trunk, Sasuke stroked faster, completely ashamed of himself for what he was doing, and more turned on than he’d ever been in his life. A soft laugh was heard from the river, and then Sasuke came into his hand.

He took off for a private stretch of river the moment he recovered, stripping down and washing away the evidence of his indiscretion. Though, he couldn’t quite seem to scratch Naruto’s blissful expression from his mind, no matter how thoroughly he cleaned away the surface stains.

*

Iruka turned the stove off and placed the frying pan on the bench. It had been a surprisingly easy day at the academy. Nothing particularly catastrophic had occurred and he was feeling rather relaxed. He picked up a slice of bacon and munched on it, leaning against the bench.

As appreciated the sultry flavor of the simple treat, a familiar presence popped in behind him and arms wound around his middle. There was no mistaking the distinct hardness nestled against his backside, nor the water dripping onto the floor.

“Hello, Kakashi,” he said, deciding to ignore the fact that the man was sopping wet and dripping all over his kitchen.

“Iruka,” Kakashi moaned, rubbing his erection against the instructor’s ass. “Oh, yeah...”

Iruka turned around, his hands creeping beneath his lover’s shirt. “Any reason why you’re so wet?”

Catching the double entendre, Kakashi grinned. “You’re in a rather amiable mood.”

“I had a good day,” Iruka answered, falling to his knees and hooking his fingers into Kakashi’s boxers, pulling them down to reveal a cock dripping with need. “Care to explain?” he asked, licking at the weeping head.

“We were fishing. Sort of.” Kakashi closed his eyes, pulling out Iruka’s tie and running his hands through the soft, shoulder length hair, as he liked to do. “It’s so sexy like that. You should wear it down more often.

Seeing that Kakashi was on the edge, Iruka pulled back a little and nuzzled the man's hard-on with his nose. “It’s not very practical,” he answered, warm breath tormenting heated flesh. “Sort of?” He took Kakashi into his mouth again, sucking lightly on the head, his lips barely tugging at the definitive ridge.

“I have a date tonight,” Kakashi murmured breathily, his hands curling around tufts of Iruka’s hair. “With Naruto.” With those words, he came, spilling his seed into the Iruka's mouth... And that was the end of Iruka’s good day.

He stood up, turned back to the counter, wiped a spot of semen from his lip, and moved the cooling pan from the stove. He could relate to its congealing contents. “You were with Naruto,” he said, somewhat coldly.

“Iruka…”

He brushed the hand off his shoulder. “You’ve got what you came for, so get out of here.”

“Dammit, Iruka! When are you going to realize that he’s growing up!?” Kakashi exclaimed. “If you had seen the way he looked at Sasuke… Naruto is no longer a child. He’s discovering his tastes and his body. The last thing he needs is you coddling him.”

Iruka closed his eyes, leaning heavily against the bench. Why did those words hurt so much? Why was he nearly reduced to tears over this? “I want Naruto to be happy,” he whispered. “I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“I wont hurt him,” Kakashi replied, resting his hands and chin on Iruka’s shoulders. “I care about him, too.”

“I know that, I just… I don’t think he’s ready,” Iruka muttered, taking a deep breath and squeezing away the moisture from the corners of his eyes.

“You say that a lot and he always proves you wrong,” answered Kakashi. “For once, can’t you trust me?”

That was an attempt to guilt him, but Iruka wasn’t falling for it. The truth was, he trusted Kakashi with his life, but not with the heart of the one he loved. “Why Naruto? Why does it have to be him?”

“I know you love him, Iruka, but you won’t do anything about that, so don’t hate me.” Gently, Kakashi kissed the man’s temple, his lips lingering for a long moment before he left.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Iruka growled at thin air.

He was willing to accept that Naruto had grown as a ninja in so many ways. He was willing to accept that the boy had finally found friends other than himself. He was willing to accept that he was no longer the trusted teacher. But, to accept that his own lover intended to use Naruto… He knew that Kakashi saw it as nothing so crude, but that’s what it was. A fling. A one night stand. Did Naruto understand that? If so, was he content with giving away his innocence so casually?

Remembering what Kakashi had said about Sasuke, Iruka let a tear slip down his cheek. He wanted to be with Naruto, too. He wanted to hold him, and kiss him, and so much more, but he respected the moral bounds that held them apart. Kakashi didn’t. Sasuke was free to do as he wished. It seemed that Iruka was the only one out of the picture.

Filling the sink and soaking the pan in it, he hesitated a few minutes and then went out, hoping that Naruto would be at Ichiraku’s ramen stand. He couldn’t just let Kakashi win without knowing what Naruto really wanted.

*

He wasn’t quite sure why, but Sasuke found himself heading for Ichiraku’s. He’d only meant to take a quick walk to clear his mind, but his feet were leading him to the one place he expected Naruto to be. However, when he got there, he found only Iruka-sensei.

At that point, he had planned to walk on, as if Ichiraku’s had never been his destination, but Iruka noticed him.

“Naruto’s not here,” the chuunin told him, face resting in the palm of his hand. “He already left.”

“I wasn’t looking for-”

“Never said you were.” Iruka just sighed and concentrated on swirling his chopsticks around the bowl of ramen before him.

Frowning, Sasuke took the seat next to him and ordered some for himself. He might as well eat something while he was here.

They ate together in silence, neither looking at the other, until Sasuke finally gave in.

“Where did he go?” he asked.

“Home,” Iruka answered.

They continued to eat.

“To see Kakashi?” Sasuke finally inquired, his voice barely above a whisper.

Iruka looked up in surprise. “You know about that?”

Sasuke didn’t answer. He just finished the last of his ramen and began to walk away.

“Sasuke…” Iruka followed after him. “Sasuke, wait.”

Surprising himself, Sasuke did stop. He didn’t turn, but waited for Iruka to catch up and finish what he wanted to say. The instructor pulled him aside into an alley so they could speak without hindering people’s progress through the streets, or being overheard.

“Sasuke... I’m worried about Naruto. I can’t believe that he would be satisfied with what Kakashi wants. Nor do I believe you could be satisfied to let it happen.” Sasuke didn’t offer an answer, but he did finally meet Iruka’s eyes. “Sasuke, what do you want from Naruto?”

“I don’t know,” the boy replied softly, and truthfully. He hadn’t had time to sort that out yet. He knew he was attracted to Naruto, though the heavens only knew why, but he hadn’t contemplated the idea of a relationship or what it would involved―not after he’d overheard Kakashi staking his claim. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Naruto chose to see Kakashi tonight, and that’s his decision.” Continuing to look into Iruka’s eyes, something seemed to shift into place. The man’s concern wasn’t ordinary. There was desperation in his gaze. “You really love him,” Sasuke whispered.

“Yes, but Naruto will never love me back like that, which is why I didn’t fight hard enough to stop Kakashi.” Iruka looked away, almost guiltily. He seemed to be telling this to himself, not Sasuke, but then his focus shifted back. “But there is a chance for the two of you. It would be good for him, and probably you, as well.”

Sasuke grunted, and turned away. “I doubt Naruto harbors any emotional attachment for me,” he spat. “What happened today was purely physical. He hates me.”

“Is that what you think?” The soft whisper caused an unpleasant tremor to ripple down Sasuke’s spine. “Then go ahead and let him be used.”

“Why not? You are.” As soon as he said the words, Sasuke regretted them, but it was too late to take them back.

He heard Iruka’s footsteps fade to the entrance of the alley. “There’s nothing I can do…but you could if you wanted to.”

“Naruto hates me,” Sasuke repeated to himself, staring at the brick wall opposite him, and kicking idly at a patch of pebbles. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, and then opened them as he exhaled. “He’s better off with Kakashi,” he insisted, heading directly home.

*

Naruto never had a chance. The moment he walked through the door, Kakashi pounced on him, swiftly ridding him of his clothes so that he was already naked and semi hard by the time he was pressed against the wall.

Feeling the cold plaster behind him, he felt a moment of panic. However, when he realized exactly why, it actually added to his arousal. Kakashi’s presence was of sheer dominance.

Having no parents or family, Naruto had never been told what to do. He’d been slapped on the wrist more times than he could count, but never controlled. Now, caught between Kakashi’s tall, strong body, and the unyielding wall, Naruto had no choice but to comply, unless he meant to fight with vicious intent.

Having realized this, he gave up trying to analyze, and allowed Kakashi to take over. The jounin dragged his hands up the wall, pinning his wrists above his head. Naruto first cried out in pain and then moaned in pleasure as his neck was bitten and subsequently soothed. His body automatically arched forward, but having nowhere to go, his skin rubbed against Kakashi’s, sending tiny thrills straight to his cock.

“Feels good,” Naruto tried to moan, but Kakashi cut him off, almost biting his lips in a fierce, possessive kiss.

As Kakashi plundered Naruto’s mouth, he held the boy’s hips still, but shifted his own in a frustrating pattern. Naruto’s clumsy hands dug into his hair, grasping for dear life.

When he was finally released, Naruto opened hazy eyes, panting heavily and feeling as though he might melt into a puddle on the floor. “Sensei,” he breathed, rocking his hips forward desperately.

“Patience, Naruto, is a virtue,” the man whispered sensually into his ear, and then dropped down Naruto’s body, warm breath tickling every inch of skin it blew across until stopping just above the patch of wiry blond curls. “Good things come to those who wait.”

Flexing his hands into fists and back again, Naruto forced himself to stay still, and wait out Kakashi’s little game. He closed his eyes, whimpering at the touch of rough fingertips to the inside of his heated thigh. The jounin was tracing little patterns up and down his leg, inching slightly higher with every circuit until he began to tease the crease between thigh and pelvis. Naruto bit his lip, trying, and failing, to dig his nails into the solid wall.

“Good boy, I’m impressed,” Kakashi said with a chuckle, and then bent his head over Naruto’s cock, taking the appendage to the back of his throat and out again.

Naruto almost screamed. Kakashi’s lips had fastened over him so suddenly, devouring him hard and fast. His hands slid up and down the wall in painful frustration. His hips were held firmly in place, unable to thrust toward the pleasure shining just over the horizon.

*

Kakashi bobbed over the boy relentlessly, his tongue pressed against the underside of Naruto’s shaft and occasionally teasing the tip. Every slide over rigid flesh brought ecstasy that little bit closer, but only when he began to suck hard did Naruto climax into his mouth with a raw cry.

Pleased, Kakashi licked his lips and then stepped away, allowing Naruto to slide to the floor, drowsy and sated. But Kakashi wasn’t done. He waited for slightly unfocused blue eyes to look up at him, and then pulled the boy into his arms, picking him up.

“Where’s the bedroom?’ he asked, making sure Naruto could feel how hard he was.

“That way,” Naruto said, pointing in the vague direction.

“Right.” Kakashi hefted the boy in his arms, and then made his way through the pigsty of an apartment towards the tiny bedroom. He frowned, noting that the place had gotten even messier since he’d visited with the Hokage.

During the brief trip, Naruto seemed to have recovered somewhat. Kakashi knew he shouldn’t be surprised, knowing the boy’s physical stamina in battle, but a moan still spilled from his lips as Naruto rubbed against him.

He placed the boy on the bed, and then crouched at the foot of it. He watched through lidded eyes as Naruto cocked his head to the side in curiosity. Then, Kakashi smirked and began to kiss his way up a creamy inner thigh, bypassing a stirring hardness and making for Naruto’s naval where he swirled his tongue around an enticing belly button.

“Kakashi,” Naruto whined. “Stop teasing me!”

Chuckling, Kakashi paused in his assent, crossing his arms over Naruto’s abdomen and letting his chin rest there. “Oh? Then what is it you want?” he asked casually.

“I…” Naruto gulped. “You know what I what,” he whispered, suddenly turning shy.

Kakashi snorted. “Say it,” he instructed.

Naturally, he succeeded in simply pissing the boy off. “I want you to fuck me, you arrogant bastard!”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” Kakashi drawled. He crawled up the bed so that he was staring down into Naruto’s eyes, and then lowered his lips so very carefully, so that they barely touched the genin’s.

Impatient, Naruto arched upwards, sealing their lips together as he pulled Kakashi down, bringing their bodies into contact. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?” he grumbled through the kiss.

Laughing, Kakashi ground their hips together once, and then reached between Naruto’s thighs, stroking his erection to full hardness before slipping his finger down lower to brush against the genin’s puckered opening. This elicited a delightful shiver, so he did it again, and again, and then slipped his finger inside just a little bit, then a little bit more.

Before the boy even knew what was happening, Kakashi had one finger working in and out of his ass, getting him used to the sensation of having something slide past his tight ring. When it was gone, he growled, but didn’t have time to complain before Kakashi’s tongue filled the void, circling around the entrance and then mimicking the action of his finger; squeezing in as far as it could go.

Naruto moaned, loudly, the sheets scrunching in his curled fists. Taking this as a good sign, Kakashi pulled back again, licked three fingers, and worked the first one back in before he added the second. This time, the boy winced a little, but he didn’t say anything, so Kakashi continued to scissor his two fingers, stretching the orifice enough to add a third.

Finally, a small cry slipped past Naruto’s lips, and he tightened instinctively.

“Relax,” Kakashi instructed. “It will be easier if you relax.”

“Why should I trust you?” Naruto growled. His eyes were squinted tightly shut.

“You ask me this now?” Kakashi asked, incredulous.

“Just get on with it.” Letting out a deep breath, Naruto consciously relaxed his body. Kakashi bent over his erection, licking the head before he began to move his fingers again.

Finally, he decided that he wasn’t going get any more slack out of fingers, and that Naruto was strong enough to take the inevitable pain for however long it lingered. He pulled his fingers out and licked them one by one, making sure that Naruto was watching. Then, he bent once more over the boy’s cock and licked a long swipe from base to tip, circling once around the leaking head to taste the proof a mounting need.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Naruto nodded, spreading his legs a little wider as Kakashi moved between them. He hooked the boy’s ankles over his shoulders, thankful for ninja flexibility, and then pressed the head of his erection against Naruto’s entrance.

As he pushed in, he leaned forward to take Naruto’s lips in a kiss, in an attempt to distract him from the pain. When that failed, he reached between them and wrapped his fingers around the genin’s cock, teasing and stroking. That worked to an extent, and Naruto relaxed a little more, allowing Kakashi to press in as far as he could.

“You’re so big,” Naruto panted, his head thrown back against the mattress. “But, it’ll get better, right?”

“It will,” Kakashi whispered. “You’ll see.”

Naruto nodded, and the jounin took that as his sign to continue. He started by rocking subtly, then pulled back a little, thrust in, and pulled back a little more. He slowly built up so that he came almost all the way out and slammed further inside each time.

Eventually, Naruto’s pain eased and he was able to take the pounding without wincing. Seeing this, Kakashi tilted his hips, searching for the spot that would turn a new experience into something pleasurable. He knew he’d found it when Naruto cried out, his eyes flew open, and his body arched off of the bed.

“Holy shit!” he shouted, his body still hovering above the bed, held there as he leaned back on his elbows. “There. Do that again.”

Obliging, Kakashi slammed his hips forward, causing Naruto to scream. He should have known the boy would be rather noisy. He grinned and picked up the pace, brushing against that spot every time he drove into the Naruto’s tight little body.

Soon, they were both panting hard and very close to release. Naruto’s ring ground around Kakashi every time he dragged back, and clenched when he thrust in. It felt as though he was being swallowed whole, merrily escorted by ecstatic screams.

It was Naruto who came first, clinging to the sheets with white knuckles and screaming loud enough to wake the dead. Kakashi followed soon after, gritting his teeth as he spilled his seed with a soft grunt. Only his prowess as a ninja lent him the fortitude to maintain so composed a demeanor. He pushed himself aside to land on the mattress, and paused a moment to catch his breath before rolling onto his back.

A sound issued from beside him that could only be described as a purr. Lazily, he turned his head to see Naruto smiling goofily, his eyes closed, and his head pillowed on his arms.

Looking past him, Kakashi saw the picture on his bedside table. He was surprised for a moment to realize that this was the only truly personal touch in Naruto’s room. The photo was one of their team, and had obviously been well kept.

“I didn’t know you cared,” Kakashi said quietly, with barely a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Eh?” Naruto’s eyes blinked open, and he followed Kakashi’s gaze to the picture. “Oh.” He sank back into the pillow. “It’s the only picture I have of Sakura,” he explained, seemingly nonchalant.

Laughing, Kakashi reached out and swiped a finger through the mess on Naruto's belly. “And of Sasuke,” he taunted, sucking his finger clean. “Is that the real reason you keep it?” he asked seriously after a while.

Catching his tone, Naruto turned back the picture and looked at it for a moment before staring up at the ceiling. “It’s the only picture I have,” he answered.

That was a good point. After all, Naruto had no family photos, or any other friends aside from Iruka.

“Ah.” Kakashi flopped down, also staring up at the ceiling. When he finally looked back at Naruto, he realized that the boy had fallen asleep, and stared in wonder. Naruto had more stamina than anyone Kakashi had ever known, and yet he was fast asleep already.

Carefully, Kakashi extracted himself from the bed and collected his clothes. Before leaving, he pulled the blanket over Naruto, then looked at the picture once more, feeling strangely melancholy, and disappeared.

*

A moment later, one of Naruto’s eyes popped open, and then closed again. Subconsciously, he curled around himself in a defensive instinct and tried to sleep. He didn’t want to analyze the feeling but he felt decidedly downhearted. Perhaps he had made the wrong decision.

Oddly, his thoughts turned to what Sasuke might think of him, or what Iruka-sensei might say. He even heard Sakura’s voice reprimanding him from far off.

He lay there for quite some time before eventually realizing he couldn’t sleep. Finally, he got up and went into the kitchen, grabbing the last carton of milk. He only drank a little, knowing he’d have to buy more tomorrow. On a whim, he pulled his clothes on, and then jumped out the window into the cold, dark night.

The air was soothing, and he closed his eyes as it blew across his face, bringing forth a soft smile. Then, he took off, making his way through the village to a rooftop where he could sit and gaze at the four Hokage immortalized in the rock face.

He flopped down, and then yelped, glaring at thin air. He hadn’t even noticed when his backside had begun to ache, but he noticed now, frowning and rubbing his sore bottom.

The angry frown faded into one of depression, and he carefully sank back down, resting his chin on his fist. Unbidden, an image of Kakashi’s carefree grin came to his mind and he sighed, unconsciously scratching the back of his head.

He wasn’t at all sure how he felt. Part of him was glad to have had the chance to be with someone, but another part screamed out at him from deep inside, saying that he was an idiot. He’d given in too easily for the first time in his life.

Assuming that he would never have a chance with Sasuke or someone else was completely out of his nature. In fact, he was beginning to feel ashamed for that fact alone. And yet... He sighed and conceded that that wasn’t the only reason he had agreed to let Kakashi break him in. Plainly and simply, he had given in to hormones.

He didn’t allow himself to fantasize about having a lover, but that didn’t keep him from dreaming. He didn’t delude himself by expecting to find someone, which was why he chased after Sakura who he knew was blinded by Sasuke. If he didn’t expect anything in return, he wouldn’t be let down.

But now he was. Whether he had acknowledged it or not, he had expected something from Kakashi. It wasn’t something he had consciously wished for, but something that was ingrained into him. He appreciated Kakashi’s gesture, but in the end, it hurt more that he was left alone again. What he truly wanted was not the act of sex, but simply to be held by someone who truly cared for him.

Curling into a ball, he lay there on the rooftop, gazing at the four faces embedded in stone. Slowly, his gaze narrowed until his eyes fell closed and he began snoring lightly. He slept there until the sun’s rays landed across his eyes and the sounds of the villagers flared to life, drawing him back to the waking world and another day of loneliness.

*

Iruka was at Ichiraku’s again come morning. He didn’t expect to find Naruto there, but it seemed the logical place to sulk. He barely touched his bowl of ramen, staring into it without really seeing it.

At one point, Sasuke walked past. The boy’s gaze darted momentarily to the stand and then away again as he continued walking. Iruka briefly contemplated talking to him, but he knew that there was nothing more he could say. Besides, it was too late now.

“Huh? Iruka-sensei…”

Iruka gasped, whipping his head around to see Naruto coming toward him.

“Naruto-kun!”

“What are you doing here so early?” Naruto asked, frowning.

“No reason,” Iruka replied hastily. “Would you like to join me? I’ll treat you.”

Immediately, Naruto’s eyes lit up and he grinned, bounding onto a stool. Then he froze, his expression slowly melting into a grimace.

Iruka turned back to his ramen. “Are you okay, Naruto?” he asked, his voice suspiciously thick.

"Sure, I’m fine!” Far too brightly, Naruto grinned and scratched the nape of his neck. He soon sobered, though, and accepted a bowl of ramen.

“Did you get up early this morning?” Iruka asked. He knew he was pressing, but he couldn’t help himself. “You live that way, don’t you?” he asked, indicating the opposite direction to the one from which Naruto had arrived.

“Eh? Oh, uh, actually, I slept somewhere else last night,” he answered absently, already preoccupied by his ramen.

“I see,” Iruka said, so softly that he probably hadn’t been heard. Not that it mattered.

“Iruka-sensei?” Naruto was peering at him suspiciously.

“Did you stay at a friend’s house?” Iruka asked, stupidly trying to divert the conversation in the wrong direction.

“No,” Naruto answered, unusually quietly. “I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk, but I ended up falling asleep outside.”

“What?” Iruka gasped, jumping to his feet. “Naruto, is that true?”

“Uh, yeah… Iruka-sensei, is something wrong?” Naruto asked, confused.

"Don't worry about it. Please excuse me.” Iruka paid for the ramen, and then bought an extra bowl for Naruto on hind thought. Then, he left in search of Kakashi. He wanted to know exactly what had happened and why Naruto had been left to sleep outside, probably on some cold rooftop, but he wasn't going to rub salt into whatever wound Kakashi had left by grilling Naruto.

*

Sasuke had barely slept all night. His thoughts had been plagued by images of Kakashi seducing Naruto, and he kept hearing the jounin whispering cheesy lines that only Naruto would fall for. At some point he had managed to drift off, but that had resulted in a dream where he himself had been Kakashi. He had been lying atop Naruto and whispering stupid words that only made sense until he awoke in a sweat and tried to translate what he’d been saying.

However, he wasn’t jealous. There was no way he was jealous. Not of Kakashi… Not because of Naruto. And no matter how many times he told himself that, he didn’t quite believe it.

He had hardly touched his cereal that morning. His spoon swirled around in the soggy food whilst his mind was off elsewhere.

He found himself thinking back to their time in the wave country and the tree climbing training. He remembered seeing Naruto finally reach the tree branch, and then try his luck by hanging upside down. The moment the idiot’s chakra had run out, a thrill of panic had raced down Sasuke’s spine. He’d run as fast as he could, barely concentrating on the chakra. His only intention had been to reach Naruto―and he had.

Now, as he sauntered casually past Ichiraku's, he realized that he never would have done something like that before. In reality, he had risked himself to save someone who he’d deemed useless. After all, Naruto was stupid, loud, obnoxious, and…

Sasuke sighed, stopping on a bridge that overlooked the sunny morning bustle of the village center and suddenly felt even more depressed.

What was happening to him? His thoughts were confused and random, and not only this morning, but most of the previous night had been spent thinking about romantic matters concerning Naruto. He wasn’t acting like himself, and lack of sleep was really no excuse.

For the first time in his life, Sasuke wondered whether he should just go back to bed and skip training. He really didn’t want to see Naruto or Kakashi, or even Sakura.

“Moron,” he snarled at himself. “Wake up and stop acting like a lovestruck fool.”

Turning away from the view, Sasuke prepared to dash off toward the training grounds near the abandoned Uchiha district from which he had come, but was stopped by a summons. Team Seven had a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, the angst begins... #SorryNotSorry


	2. The Second Exam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we come to part two, where I decided to bite myself in the ass and start ducking and weaving in and out of the canon, requiring diligent transcription of subtitles (much of which I just translated/re-translated for sections I wrote new or re-wrote this time around because damn that fansub dialogue was clunky -.- ), deep attention to detail throughout the entirety of the canon for hints and reveals, and the completion of the entire series. What the hell was I thinking!? Well, I now have the tools to make this happen, so I'm doing this thing, even if it means burning the goddamn world down!

Having successfully avoided Iruka all morning, Kakashi was surprised to find the chuunin waiting for him by the memorial he secretly visited every day. He carefully placed down the single flower he had decided to bring that day and slowly stood up to meet the angry glare.

Without a word, Iruka slapped him hard across the face. Kakashi didn’t dodge or counter, but instead took the blow without even a flinch. Then, he disappeared in a puff of smoke to meet his three students before he received any more hits or a long and moralistic lecture.

Sakura blinked at him, stunned. “Kakashi-sensei…? You’re on time.”

Sasuke simply scowled and looked away. Naruto, on the other hand, beamed and waved at him.

Kakashi scratched the nape of his neck, searching for an excuse, and then realized that he didn’t actually need one. That was the beginning of a rather uncomfortable afternoon. The team was sent on a mission involving a long trip to a town being terrorized by petty thugs.

Naruto had started off rather exuberant and tried engaging Kakashi in conversation several times before trailing off. As the day drew on, along with the heat, his enthusiasm began to wane and he slipped into a rare, introspective mood.

Kakashi noticed Sasuke glaring at him and sneaking brief sideways glances at Naruto, whilst Sakura purposely fell behind to avoid the tense atmosphere. He hadn’t really thought this far ahead to when he’d have to see Naruto again, and wasn’t quite sure how to go about things. He didn’t want to give the wrong impression, but he didn’t want to push the boy away, either.

By the time they were halfway to the target location, Kakashi noticed Naruto limping slightly, though he could tell that it wasn’t from a foot injury, but rather an attempt to hide his discomfort. That made the jounin feel somewhat guilty so he called a break, noticing how Naruto didn’t flop straight down onto his backside like he usually would. It seemed that Naruto’s healing abilities didn’t cover that sort of non-threatening internal discomfort.

The four of them ate their rations, hardly speaking to one another until Sakura tried to lighten the mood.

“Sasuke-kun, did you sleep well last night? You look a little tired,” she said, fussing over him as usual.

“I slept fine. What about you, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, surprising everyone.

“Eh?” Naruto didn’t move for a moment, obviously waiting for some sort of trap. “Why do you ask?”

Sasuke shrugged and looked away, but his eyes lingered on Kakashi for just a split second long enough to indicate that he knew something. “You’re not yourself, that’s all.”

“He has a point,” Sakura seconded, peering at Naruto as if that was the first time she’d seen him.

Naruto was lost for words, and couldn’t seem to find an answer, which only made Sakura’s curiosity peak.

“What is wrong with everyone today?” she asked exasperatedly. Receiving no answer, she threw her hands up in the air and stalked off down the path, mumbling to herself and kicking stones as she went.

Naruto grinned nervously and attempted a laugh, roughing up his hair. He looked at Kakashi to the left and Sasuke to his right, and then took off after her. “Sa-Sakura-chan, wait for me!” he called.

That left just Kakashi, who laughed and commented on how Naruto was back to normal, and Sasuke, who slowly got to his feet. Both of them took note of Naruto’s odd, jiggling run.

“He doesn’t look normal to me,” Sasuke murmured, and then began walking.

“Probably just overworking himself,” Kakashi replied casually. “You know how he is.”

“Shouldn’t it be your job to make sure he takes care of himself?” Sasuke asked, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.

Kakashi didn’t reply. He just looked over at Sasuke and mentally sighed. He should have been more careful. It was easy to forget how observant Sasuke could be, even if he was still only a genin. However, he wasn’t about to regret his actions just because Sasuke and Iruka were a little worked up over it. Naruto was able to make his own decisions, and so he had.

*

Iruka hadn’t forgiven Kakashi for what he’d done. He refused to talk to the cad. As far as he was concerned, their half assed excuse for a relationship was over, dead, and gone. He couldn’t abide by a man who had such an intense lack of morals.

On top of it, Kakashi just couldn’t see that Naruto was hurting. No one could, except for Iruka. He knew the boy well enough to see through a false smile and exaggerated antics.

He was just thinking about Naruto’s latest over the top prank when a messenger arrived to call him to a meeting pertaining to the up and coming chuunin exam. He wasn’t in the mood for such a meeting. He wouldn’t put it past Kakashi to do something stupid and reckless and nominate his team.

No. Of course not. Not even Kakashi was that much of an idiot. Even he knew when to stop when there were lives on the line.

With a sigh, Iruka made his way to the meeting and joined the mass of chuunin and jounin sensei’s who had gathered.

The Third began the meeting, straight to the point, as usual. "In anticipation of the upcoming chuunin exam, those who are in charge of new genin, step forward.” There was a pause as the three relevant jounin moved in front of the Hokage. “Kakashi, Kurenai, and Asuma. Are there any genin among your students that you wish to enter into the exam? As you know, any genin who has completed more than eight missions is eligible to enter. However, those who have done twice that amount are more suited.”

Watching the proceedings, Iruka felt little interest. There is no point in asking. It’s too early for them, he thought to himself.

But the Hokage still went ahead. “Let’s start with Kakashi.”

Kakashi stepped forward and raised two fingers before him. “From my squad seven: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura. I recommend these three for the chuunin selection exam under my name, Hatake Kakashi.”

What?! Iruka couldn’t believe it! What was Kakashi thinking? Surely even he had more sense!

“From my Team 8: Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino. I recommend these three for the chuunin selection exam under my name, Yuuhi Kurenai,” announced the female jounin.

“From my Team Ten: Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akimichi Chouji. I recommend these three for the chuunin selection exam under my name, Sarutobi Asuma.”

There were mutters all around them, but all Iruka heard were the nine names repeating themselves in his mind. Team Ten seemed doomed, plain and simple. They just weren't ready. As for Team Eight, despite Hinata’s shy attitude, between her Byakugan ability, and the skills and teamwork of the other two, they might stand a chance. The team that truly sent Iruka’s mind in circles was, of course, Team Seven. Sasuke might be able to cope, but Sakura was sorely lacking the physical ability, and Naruto… What was Kakashi thinking? Was he trying to get them killed?

Before the stupidity could carry on any further, Iruka stepped forward. “Please, wait!”

“What is it, Iruka?” asked the Hokage, though he likely knew very well what was coming.

“Please let me speak, Hokage-sama,” he pleaded. “Excuse me for interfering, but the nine who were recommended were students of mine at the academy. Every one of them is talented, but it’s too early! They need more experience before they enter the exam.”

“I became a chuunin when I was six years younger than Naruto,” Kakashi stated, instantly targeting Iruka's greatest cause for concern.

“Naruto is different from you!” Iruka insisted, pushing away the images that flared up in his mind of Naruto writhing underneath the bastard. “Are you trying to destroy him?”

“They always complain during important missions. Putting them into a dangerous situation might be interesting… Destroying them might also be interesting.” As subtly as ever, Kakashi had diverted the argument back to general terms, referring to the team as a unit, and away from their personal conflict surrounding Naruto. Even more deviously, he had distracted Iruka with his flippant attitude.

“What did you say…?” Iruka asked, unable to believe how Kakashi was talking about the teenagers who respected and trusted him. He wouldn’t―he couldn’t let go of this so easily.

“That was a joke,” Kakashi deadpanned. The comment made Iruka seethe because he knew very well that it had been a joke, but it was far from funny. He knew that Kakashi was simply trying to anger him in front of this crowd where he could do nothing about it. “Iruka-sensei,” the jounin continued formally, “I understand what you are saying. You must be upset, but―”

“Kakashi, stop,” Kurenai cut in. She knew Kakashi well enough to have a suspicion about their relationship, and about the thinly veiled personal argument they were now having.

“Don’t interfere! They are no longer your students!” he warned Iruka. “They are my subordinates, now.”

There it was; the same thing that Kakashi had tried to break to him over and over again. Iruka was no longer a part of Naruto’s life. He no longer had any more authority than that of any other adult. He no longer had the right to involve himself in Naruto’s personal and professional problems.

As always, it hurt, especially to hear those words from Kakashi who he had trusted and cared for. But he wouldn’t just lie down and die. “But the chuunin exam is also known as the―”

“Iruka.” The Hokage cut him off, obviously having heard enough. “I understand your concerns.”

“Hokage-sama―”

“As such, we will put the all of the genin through a special preliminary exam,” the Third continued, a thoughtful silence following his statement.

That judgment was more than Iruka had hoped for. “A preliminary exam?”

As the Third went on to explain, Iruka felt a strong sense of relief. Even if one or two of the genin passed the test, they could not take place in the chuunin exam without a full team. He would make sure to test them well, and then prove to the Hokage, and especially Kakashi, that he was right.

*

Kakashi wasn't worried. He had every bit of faith that his team would pass the tests Iruka set for them. If anything, that was why he was unsettled. He'd set things in motion, now. There was no going back.

In Kakashi's day, A and B rank missions had been much more common for genin. It was a time of war and unrest. It was a time that awakened abilities like the sharingan and pushed boundaries, resulting in the development of new techniques like chidori. It was a time when young combatants were brought close to their team members and captions through intensity and necessity, giving and taking comfort as need. It was a time that forced children to grow up fast.

In peace-time, there was less opportunity for young ninjas with potential to try their mettle and forge their own unique skills. Missions like the conflict with Zabusa in the Wave Country were rare, and with chuunin to spare and even jounin available, such opportunities only came to genin by accident, as had happened to Team Seven.

Iruka didn't understand because he had come through as a genin after peace accords had been reached, but Kurenai and Asuma knew the importance of pushing oneself to the limits. Even Gai wasn't as happy-go-lucky as he seemed. He simply had an eye towards results in a way the other team leaders did not.

The chuunin exam was a fierce and dangerous simulation of field conditions, but with some controls in place to maximize survival. It was a crucial arena for peace-time genin to experience the kind of trials that would push them to evolve. Team Seven needed that.

Sakura needed to wake up and see that being a kunoichi who could hold her own was more important than her doomed attraction to Sasuke. Naruto needed to face the kind of make-or-break struggles that would bring out his serious determination and will to succeed. As for the sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre... If Sasuke wanted to have a hope of standing up to one of the most talented and calculated ninja Kakashi had ever worked with, he was going to need the combat experience with his sharingan that could only come in a life-or-death exchange.

There was a part of Kakashi that wondered if such measures were necessary. If contemporary genin were soft as a result of peace, was that not exactly what the Third and Fourth had striven for? Did these children even need to become hardened, to learn to kill or walk through fields of corpses without showing signs of weakness? Is that what Minato would have wanted for his child?

Perhaps not...but Naruto was host to the Nine-tails. It was essential that he grow to be able to harness and control all that power within him, lest it burst free and savage a generation who had never seen the like of it.

Sasuke would not give up on his drive to seek revenge upon Itachi just because the rest of the world was at peace. There would never be peace within him, no matter the world climate.

To contend with those two, who fate had saddled her with, Sakura needed strength and will on top of her smarts. She would live a difficult life for a kunoichi, and the tough skin that came with severe experiences would serve her well.

Whether he liked it or not, Kakashi had no choice but to push his three subordinates beyond their limits. He hoped Minato would forgive him.

*

Defeated, Iruka flopped down on his couch. He knew he should be happy for Naruto and the others, but in truth, he felt little more than sad and tired. His preliminary examination had gone inexplicably well, and all of the genin had proven themselves worthy. Even Naruto had passed with flying colors.

In fact, the instructor could hardly believe how much Naruto had improved. He’d expected the boy to rely on shadow clones, and had been more than ready to take those on, but it seemed that Naruto had learned to trust his other skills, and even acquired a good poker face.

The other surprise was Sakura. Iruka had felt sure that his illusion of Sasuke would send her home, crying. He didn’t want to scare her like that, but he knew that it was a much better alternative to the danger she would have to face in the chuunin exam.

Sasuke, of course, was the least surprising. The test for Sasuke was merely a test for Iruka to see how much the boy had grown. The survivor of the Uchiha clan had met all of his expectations, except for one. He had improved, but not nearly as much as Naruto. Sasuke still had the advantage but Naruto was beginning to catch up to him.

Sighing, and pinching the bridge of his nose, Iruka realized that there was no use in delaying it any further. He had no choice but to confront Kakashi and admit his defeat. He still wasn’t convinced; he knew that he had probably gone easy on them. Yes, they had all grown as ninjas, but the chuunin exam was difficult and dangerous, and Iruka wasn’t ready to see them fail. However, there was nothing more he could do. Swallowing his pride, he appeared on Kakashi’s rooftop, where he knew the jounin would be waiting.

Kakashi didn’t even spare him the courtesy of turning around. “How were they?” he asked, as though it was a wasted question and he already knew the answer.

“Though we went through the trouble of setting up a special preliminary exam… All nine rookies passed,” he announced, formally. Then, with a puff of smoke, Iruka transformed back into his own, comfortable form. “It seems that their skills are growing, just like the three of you have said.”

“But the real chuunin exam isn’t going to be that easy,” conceded Kakashi, expertly voicing Iruka’s thoughts.

“Kakashi…” Iruka started forward, but then Kakashi was there, holding him.

“I’m sorry for what I said in front of all those people,” Kakashi whispered. “But it was for your own good.”

“I know,” Iruka answered, his throat constricted and eyes squeezed shut to ward against tears.

“Iruka…” Kakashi’s fingers brushed his face, followed by a soft kiss on his cheek. “I know how I must seem to you sometimes, but I do care about them―all of them. I believe that participating in this exam will be for their own good. They won’t die, but if the worst did happen, then they have chosen for themselves to take that risk. You need to learn to have faith in people. Please, don’t blame me. I miss you.”

“I just don’t understand you, sometimes,” Iruka breathed into Kakashi’s clothes, burying his face to hide the tears. What was it about this man that made him so emotional on such a wide scale; from hatred, to confusion, to sadness…? “You’re going to have to win back my trust,” he said after a while, pulling away and extracting himself from Kakashi’s arms. He stared down at the tiles of the roof, wondering if forgiving this man was utter stupidity.

“Then let me start with this.” Kakashi lifted Iruka's chin and leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “The rest I will prove to you through them.”

*

As they kissed and touched, Iruka's softness touched Kakashi's heart and moved him to a gentler mind-set. He still had the exam in his thoughts, but he now viewed it in a more romantic light.

Iruka just didn’t know the current Team Seven like Kakashi did. They were growing rapidly. They had what it would take to make it through this exam, and even if they didn’t―if they failed―what they would learn from it was more precious than advancing in rank. The exam would promote teamwork, and provide experience. That was what they needed, not lousy missions digging weeds and sifting garbage. They had learned so much from their mission in the Wave Country. Now was the time for their skills to develop.

It would be good for Naruto, too. For all Iruka’s bitching and complaining, he was bound to see how this productive step would affect Naruto’s mood. He was going to be genuinely energetic and excited again for the first time since Kakashi had miscalculated the repercussions of sleeping with him.

Regretfully, the jounin felt a pang of guilt. He hadn’t meant to hurt Naruto. He had honestly thought he was doing the right thing, giving the boy an experience that would help him acclimatize to a more social world... But no matter. Naruto’s outlook would improve during the exam, as well as his ability as a ninja.

Perhaps the survival stage might even serve to bring him and Sasuke closer together. After all, that was Kakashi's endgame. He hoped that now that Naruto had had a taste of adult pleasures, he would feel empowered to pursue the one he was truly interested in. That was never Kakashi. Surely Naruto understood that.

Iruka, at least, understood that his feelings for Naruto were out of place, and that the boy needed to grow without relying on a doting presence. If he didn't, he would have made a move to claim Naruto for his own the moment he recognized Kakashi's intentions. As much hurt as it caused him, he had not intervened...and that was why he overcompensating with the urge to protect the boy now, to assuage his own guilt.

"I promise you, I wouldn't put them through this if I didn't have faith in them," Kakashi murmured, leading Iruka down into his bedroom. "I can't protect them from harm as long as they choose to fight...and that's part of why I have never taken on a team of my own before. These three are different. I know they can do this."

Never before had Iruka been so passive. He was like a doll in Kakashi's arms, not so much allowing kisses along his jaw and down his torso as enduring them. For him, the act was a purge. For Kakashi, it was a promise.

Bodies interlocked, they neither struggled to dominate one another, nor melded as one. Rather, Iruka let Kakashi overshadow him, as if in commentary of his powerlessness where Naruto was concerned. But Kakashi would not allow him to wallow in such self-pity.

Feeling devilish, the copy ninja produced a shadow clone who took on the appearance of Naruto, causing Iruka to gasp as his leg was raised into the air, giving Kakashi unimpeded access. Laying on their sides with Iruka sandwiched between them, Kakashi and the shadow clone collaborated to push the instructor to his limits. Levering himself up to watch as the clone bit and nibbled at Iruka's lips, Kakashi thrust with slow precision, ensuring that his lover was feeling it.

"This is wrong," Iruka gasped, even as he arched back into Kakashi, his arousal crushing achingly against the clone's buff thigh.

Kakashi ignored what was obviously an empty complaint because Iruka was pulling at the clone's hair, crushing their tongues together in a wet, messy kiss. Knowing that the conflict between his wants, his needs, and his preconceptions was winding Iruka up beyond his limits, Kakashi reached around and took the man's weeping length in his hand, pumping with tight strokes that would bring him to a mercifully swift and full climax.

The moment Iruka tensed, his muscles knotting up spectacularly, Kakashi dismissed the clone and his sense of immediate pleasure doubled. He and Iruka came powerfully as one, locked in a shuddering embrace.

Slick with sweat and coated in his own bodily fluids, Kakashi pulled himself free, breathing in the earthy scent of Iruka's damp hair and running a hand down the length of his lover's trembling body. In the wake of his orgasm, the vision of his clone ravishing Iruka's nipples was stuck in his mind... That yellow head bent to hide his face... Sometimes Naruto looked a little too much like someone else.

"Kakashi?"

Iruka was facing him, looking soft and delicate...and concerned. It wasn't often that Kakashi wore his heart on his sleeve.

"I won't pretend to understand...but I can see that you have your own troubled sentiments where Naruto is concerned. I'm sorry." The whisper confused Kakashi for a moment before the elaboration came. "I...assumed your reasons for it all were shallow―physical. I didn't expect to see this vulnerability in you."

"Don't get used to it, Kakashi responded gruffly, though there was no bite to his bark.

*

Naruto knew he hadn’t been himself lately. Ever since that night with Kakashi, he had been feeling like everyone was pushing him off to the side, like he didn’t matter. So, he’d tried harder to win their attention.

He knew that it was stupid to expect anything at all from Kakashi, but he had hoped the man would have been a little nicer to him, a little easier, a little more complimentary. Of course, nothing had changed. They’d spent one night together and the only lingering proof of it had been in Naruto’s discomfort for the next few days. However, even that faded soon enough, and a one night stand could easily fade into a distant memory, perhaps of a dream.

But it was okay. Naruto had decided the moment he woke up that he would forget about all of that. He was going to become an excellent ninja, striving to grow better each day, until nobody would deny him the title of Hokage. He’d prove to all of them that he was worthy… And to do so, he’d been given the perfect opening.

Today, Naruto was going to take the chuunin exam. He was going to accept whatever was thrown at him, and take another step closer to his dream of Hokage. Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura… They didn’t matter. Nothing could get in his way as long as he believed in himself and his ability. There was no need to indulge in silly fantasies about romance or companionship. All Naruto needed was himself and his dream.

Tying on his forehead protector, Naruto looked at himself in the mirror, straightened the band so that the Konoha leaf sat perfectly, and then nodded to himself. Today was the beginning of his journey and he would not falter in his steps.

Of course, determination only went so far. The written test almost broke his will from the get-go, but he made it through. As he entered the forest alongside Sasuke and Sakura, Naruto's spirits boiled hot. This was his kind of test! A life or death battle for survival and race for the finish! His teammates were finally going to see what he was made of!

At least, that was the plan... Until some spiky-haired creep got the drop on him. He just didn't expect anyone to come at them so soon!

As he tried to work his arms closer together under the rope that bound him, he wondered morosely if Sasuke would even notice if someone else took his place for a day or two...or even weeks. He was just beginning to convince himself that his team might even be better off with a fake when he heard Sasuke shouting.

Naruto's heart leapt. Sasuke had known immediately that something wasn't right! He gave his reasons, sure, but Naruto was sure that pure instinct had tipped him off. He realized too fast to notice a missing cut or a misplaced holster... Sasuke really saw him, like nobody else ever had.

His heart swelling, Naruto yelled out to his teammate, who responded almost by rote, freeing him with a well-aimed kunai. There was no time to dwell on his relief, and that remained the case throughout the second exam. There was no time to wallow in loneliness, either. One after another, the enemies came for them, be they ninja or beast.

From rope bindings, to blasts of wind, to the belly of a snake, it was one thing after another. The way things were going, it was so obvious to him that the Sasuke he rescued from the snake lover was not the real Sasuke. The real Sasuke―the Sasuke he admired―would never act like such a coward. To hand over their scroll... To just give up and lay down... Sasuke would never do that.

Except...he had. That fact, upon later reflection, was a real eye-opener for Naruto. He had grown up with this image of Sasuke that was shallow and one-dimensional. It wasn't fair. It wasn't accurate, either. He had a long way to go if he wanted to understand who Sasuke really was.

*

Naruto... He was an idiot when it came down to it, to the point that Sasuke relied on that idiocy more often than he relied on Naruto to come through. That was why he set a password Naruto couldn't possibly remember. That was why he was on the lookout, constantly, just waiting for Naruto to slip up and give someone an opening. Because if he didn't prepare for the worst, Naruto was going to get himself killed.

Sasuke was so convinced of that fact that he was almost paralyzed by fear and paranoia from the moment they set foot in that ominous forest. Sakura might not be strong, but her wits would protect her until Sasuke came to her aid. Naruto... He overestimated himself time and again. Sasuke knew he didn't give his teammate enough credit, sometimes, but this was different. This was life or death. If Naruto died on his watch...

It wasn't until Naruto called him out that he even realized what he was doing, putting Naruto's life above his own ambitions. When he did realize, it only further parlyzed him for a time as he realized just how much it meant to him that they all make it out of that forest in one piece. He needed Naruto to survive. It wouldn't mean anything to him to become a chuunin if Naruto wasn't by his side, grinning idiotically all the while.

That was when he realized that the only way to be worthy of having Naruto by his side was to face his fears and stake his own life rather than his ambitions. The enemy they faced was a living terror, but only if one was afraid of dying. If Sasuke fought with his life on the line, then he needn't worry about protecting Naruto. He just had to win.

In a way, he did... Naruto lived. Sasuke lived. Sakura lived. What Orochimaru had done to him paled in comparison to those simple facts, and yet... He felt soiled and rotten. He wasn't worthy of someone as pure-hearted as Naruto. He might never be.

The rage and sadness in him seemed to leak out and crawl across Sasuke's skin as he woke from a cognitive coma to find Sakura fending off new attackers. Here was an outlet for his despair.

*

Iruka blinked tiredly. He’d waited up all night. It was the fifth day of the Chuunin exam, and he hadn’t received a summons yet. Part of him was glad that he wouldn’t need to knock the three genin unconscious, but another part of him was terrified that they had somehow messed up and gotten killed. He didn’t dare hope they passed and reached the tower safely. He was too afraid of being let down. If he just prepared himself for the worst, then…

“Stop worrying,” Kakashi mumbled.

The jounin had stayed with him for the majority of the last five days, forcing him to relax. But it was getting too close to the telling moment when they would know the truth of whether the three had passed, failed…or died.

“Iruka…” Now fully awake, Kakashi flicked his lover’s nose, startling him out of his melancholy.

“But…Kakashi… What if―?”

Iruka practically squeaked as Kakashi’s lips cut him off. He struggled, but eventually relaxed into the kiss, knowing that he wouldn’t be released until he did.

“There, see―?”

Suddenly, Iruka disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared again to the point of his summoning. He took a deep breath and then looked around even before the smoke dispersed. What he saw when the view cleared sent a shock through his system. He was in the tower. He had been summoned to the tower where the successful genin were to assemble. They had passed… Naruto had passed.

“Hey,” he said casually. “Long time no see.”

Sakura, caught so off guard, was a rare sight. "What's going on?"

Pride and joy spilling over in his voice, Iruka congratulated the three genin on passing the second exam. Naruto's confusion was utterly adorable, as though summoning Iruka through scrolls was a feat of unimaginable wonder. It puffed the instructor up even further, and for the first time in days, his heart felt truly light.

He was glad to see that Naruto hadn't changed much at heart, despite the gloom he had been trying to hide of late. He seemed more himself now than ever, to the potential detriment of Iruka's wallet when all this was over. He should have known better than to bring up Ichiraku's...

In the end, Kakashi had been right. All three had made it out of the dangerous forest alive, and with a real shot at becoming chuunin. They had clearly grown in the process, too, as Sakura's shorn hair symbolized.

Iruka just hoped they weren't already at their limit. There was more hardship to come. This next phase might yet be a bit much for Sakura, and maybe even for Naruto.

He tried to warn them, but Naruto simply unwittingly repeated what Kakashi had been saying for a long time, now. It wasn't for Iruka to look out for him anymore.

"Iruka-sensei... From the moment I put on this forehead protector bearing the symbol of Konoha, I haven't been your student from the academy. You can stop worrying. Besides, this headband is an important symbol that you acknowledged my abilities. I know I'm still hyperenergetic and all that, but I'm not a kid anymore... I'm a ninja in my own right, now."

The shock hit Iruka hard, much harder than when Kakashi said it. He truly had expected to be summoned in the forest, not knowing what he might find. He'd lied and told the three it was a coincidence that he happened to be assigned to them, but the truth was that he had begged for it, thinking to be the one who would comfort Naruto when it all went wrong. He knew that no one else would care to... Yet he had been the only one who didn't believe in them―in Naruto, to be precise. Even Anko had been surprised that he expected failure of Kakashi's team. He was a fool.

He owed Kakashi a deep apology.

*

Since joining up with the happy-go-lucky Konoha brats Orochimaru was targeting, Kabuto had watched Sasuke almost constantly. He watched him move, listen, and eat. This was the boy that Orochimaru was interested in.

He was certainly an attractive boy. His face and body would prove suitable for Orochimaru’s purposes―and certainly Kabuto’s.

Sasuke showed promise. He was a talented ninja, though perhaps not as strong as Itachi had been at that age. He was also different from what Kabuto had expected to find. He was…friendlier.

Of course, he was a far cry from social, but Sasuke had definitely developed more skills in dealing with people than his older brother. Orochimaru would probably be disappointed. Naruto’s influence was likely holding the Uchiha boy back. He had been distracted from his ultimate goal of killing Itachi, and instead of a burning drive to become stronger, he had developed a need to stay ahead of Naruto. Instead of looking ahead at what he needed to become, he looked behind him to judge the distance he had to keep between him and his rival.

Who would have thought that anyone could have such an influence on the cold boy Sasuke had originally been? Uzumaki Naruto certainly proved surprising, if nothing else. Of course, nobody really knew what to expect from the demon fox. Certainly not the dirty looks Naruto had been throwing Kabuto every so often when he noticed the way Kabuto’s eyes strayed to Sasuke. It was amazing that he proved oblivious to so much else, yet noticed Kabuto's interest in Sasuke. Clearly, Naruto harbored feelings for his sullen team-mate. Whether or not he planned to act on them was another story.

Kabuto admired Naruto’s stamina, but more so, he was impressed with Sasuke’s sheer force of will to survive the cursed seal and still stay conscious all night, even managing to fight… It was almost a little daunting. Orochimaru had chosen well. The spy found himself looking forward to the day when Orochimaru would possess Sasuke’s body. His brilliant master inside that’s boy’s form… It was very appealing.

Sasuke himself was all well and good, but all that drove him was the ambition to kill Uchiha Itachi. That was nothing compared to Orochimaru’s dreams. Kabuto’s master would destroy Konoha, or he would gain ultimate power as the Hokage. Either way, Kabuto could use the results to his advantage. Orochimaru was useful to him. Sasuke was not. But that body… It wasn't like the boy had a real need of it. Obviously, Sasuke harbored unaddressed feelings for the rambunctious boy in whom the fox-demon resided. The girl didn’t even hide her own feelings for Sasuke. Naruto, if Kabuto read him correctly, had noticed Kabuto’s interest in Sasuke and shown signs of jealousy, resorting to trying to show off to gain Sasuke’s attention―or perhaps even draw Sakura’s.

What a messy triangle...

The other members of Kabuto’s so-called team had already moved on, having received their instructions from the chuunin summoned by their scrolls. Kabuto, however, backtracked to where Orochimaru had met them earlier. He knew it wouldn't be too long... Orochimaru hadn't seen him for days. A private meeting was only to be expected.

“Kabuto.”

The spy wasn’t surprised by Orochimaru’s sudden re-appearance behind him. He tried not to shudder as his master touched him, snake-like arms slipping around his waist. He hated this particular, child-like incarnation. If not for the mask of Orochimaru’s original face, he would not be able to endure it.

“Yes, master?” he asked, bowing his head.

Orochimaru’s tongue wrapped around his neck, slid beneath his shirt, down his back, and around his chest. He did shudder as it slithered over both nipples and continued down his side, doubling back to his naval.

That damn tongue… Kabuto shifted uncomfortably. “If I am late, my absence will arouse suspicion.”

Orochimaru didn’t answer, his tongue occupied with sliding down into Kabuto’s shorts and wrapping around his aroused length. Kabuto’s fist clenched. He knew he wasn’t going anywhere until his master was finished. Better to let him have his way, or Kabuto would be late. Thus, he consciously relaxed into the coiled grip of that sinuous tongue.

His master’s fingers clasped with his own, and he smiled at the intimate gesture even as he trembled in pleasure. He could easily imagine the eager, intense expression on Orochimaru’s face.

The tongue wrapped around his cock sped up, rubbing back and forth even as it curled up and down. Kabuto’s fingers clenched tightly, entwined with Orochimaru’s. He groaned, and cried out as the tip of his master’s tongue flicked over his balls.

He came, convulsing, even as the tongue receded and he was held up once more by Orochimaru’s arms. His body was slick with saliva, his shorts stained.

Sighing, he allowed Orochimaru to pat him dry, and then lick the seed from within his shorts.

“Now you may go, Kabuto,” Orochimaru conceded, switching to his jounin form. “If the opportunity presents itself, withdraw. There is no need for you to continue here and risk revealing yourself or your skills.”

“Yes, master,” Kabuto agreed as Orochimaru once more disappeared.

Oh, yes. Kabuto looked forward to the day when Orochimaru would take him with Sasuke’s body. That was a treat worth anticipating.

*

The pain emanating from his shoulder throughout his nerves was no deterrent. His blood screamed, and he required blood to assuage it. The stronger the opponent, the better.

He understood, at heart, that he was being reckless. He understood, at heart, Sakura's near betrayal of his condition to those overseeing the exam. However, nothing was going to stop him from fighting―certainly not the strength emanating from his right, where Naruto was a sturdy presence. If Naruto turned out to be his opponent, he would not hold back.

Even so, the pain was a hinderance. When the announcement came that he would be first to fight, Sasuke was sobered by the importance of this bout. It made him level-headed enough to know that Kakashi's warning was no joke. Using the sharingan was not an option, and without it, he was at a severe handicap.

The fight did not go as he would have liked, and the keening of his blood only worsened as his opponent dominated the course of battle, sucking up his chakra and aggravating the curse. Little by little, as his chakra was sapped away, Sasuke awakened to a primal thrill, fully enhanced by Naruto's frustrated shout. The inherent acknowledgement in that veiled compliment fired up his drive to win, and to do so by beating the odds of his current limitations. Wasn't that how Naruto functioned every day? Sasuke would show the loud-mouthed brat that he could do it, too.

He tapped into every physical instinct his body harbored, pushing his taijutsu to the extremes to dodge all further attacks and end the fight in one decisive move. It was flashy and brave, and barely required any use of chakra. However, to surpass the physical skills of Rock Lee, Sasuke needed that extra touch of chakra to complete the combo that formed in his mind. Just a smidgen... A trickle...

It felt, at first, like he had simply released more chakra than he intended―a ripple across the surface of his skin―but then the burn swept in its wake. Hanging suspended in midair for what felt that an eternity, Sasuke broiled. It was though scalding water spread across his shoulder and neck, then flared into lava.

As though from a distance, he heard Naruto's cry, striking right at his core. "Sasuke, stop acting so pathetic, you prick!"

Pathetic... That was the one thing he didn't want to be. That was the one thing he didn't want Naruto to see him as.

He was, though. Losing to the pain and fury of a stupid mark on his neck...

He had to fight it. That was the only thing for it. As long as there was breath in his body and sentient thought in his head... He would fight. With that voice ringing in his head and reverberating over his skin, Sasuke fought back the effects of the curse, combating it with sheer willpower. The pain remained, but the satisfaction skyrocketed, and Sasuke drew from that the strength to complete his combo take his opponent down for the count. Taking the win against all odds kept him in control until Naruto's shout took the wind out of him. Relief had him on the verge of fainting until Kakashi propped him up, and only the eyes of his peers and Naruto's jubilant shouting kept him together―but the thought of missing Naruto's match dug at him. He had to stay and watch the other fights. He had to!

Kakashi wouldn't hear of it, however, and the seal was anything but dormant under his skin, causing a persistent tingling sensation beyond the immediate agony of that mark. As he walked soberly from the arena, Sasuke wanted to turn around, wanted to look at Naruto and see what kind of expression the boy wore...but he didn’t dare. He went along quietly until he and Kakashi were behind closed doors.

“It’s not that bad,” he argued, weakly, once more.

Kakashi’s hand gently removed his and came down on the curse mark. Sasuke cried out in pain, his body tensing.

“I’ll have to undress you,” the jounin told him, reaching down to lift up the loose blue shirt.

Sasuke’s hand shot out to stop the intrusion, and he grunted with the effort. “Don’t touch me.”

“This is a bad time to be stubborn,” Kakashi sighed, twisting his wrist to wrap his fingers around Sasuke’s. He could easily break the grip, but he held on for the time being.

“Is that what you said to Naruto?” Sasuke muttered darkly.

Kakashi’s eye widened and he loosened his grip, letting go after another silent moment. His hand dropped to his side. “You have the wrong idea. I never forced Naruto into anything. It was his own choice.”

Sasuke grunted, his fingers clamping down over the seal once more. “I…”

Kakashi stopped him from speaking, placing his hands on the outer edges of Sasuke’s shoulders. The boy flinched, but nothing more.

“You care for Naruto. That’s good. I’m sure you won’t believe me, but I care for him as well. However..." He leaned down so that he was almost face to face with Sasuke. “I will not shelter him. That isn’t what he wants. The same, obviously, goes for you.”

Sasuke glared at him, then sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t know if I trust you,” he said bluntly.

“Because of my brief relations with Naruto?” Kakashi asked in frustration. “Naruto is a ninja, as are you and I. He has moved on with his goal, carrying out missions, casting aside personal feelings. We have fought together as a team and will continue to do so. You’re going to have to get over this, Sasuke. You and I will be spending a lot of time together in the near future if I am to train you to use your sharingan properly. You have no choice but to trust me.”

Sasuke stared at the ground, his body clenching up every now and then. His face still angled downward, he raised his eyes, then slowly lifted his chin. “Very well,” he said, a smirk only slightly strained by pain crossing his lips. “I’ll put that personal matter aside and let you seal this thing…on one condition.”

“Oh?” Kakashi asked.

Even if he was somewhat afraid, and conflicted by his choice of partner, Sasuke knew without question what he wanted. Better the straightforward Kakashi than some smooth predator like Kabuto. Now he just needed to convince the jounin, not that it should be too hard.

In his mind's eye, Sasuke remembered Naruto's near-naked form, diving for fish in the forest of death. He'd teased the boy, urging him to catch more, because he wanted to appreciate that sight a little longer, to ingrain it in his memory. It was a pleasant impression that tempered the raging storm in Sasuke's blood. Knowing what that energetic, carefree body had experienced at this man's hands colored Sasuke's voice, now, deepening and elongating his tone...

Leaning forward until his lips were beside Kakashi’s ear, Sasuke steeled his nerve to ask for something that could demolish his pride. “I won’t be left behind Naruto. I want to experience what you showed him.” He heard Kakashi’s intake of breath, could almost calculate the exact moment the jounin fully understood what he was asking. “If it was something you could do with Naruto, I’m sure you'll find me suitable.”

Sasuke knew he was attractive, knew he was desired by many people. Surely it wasn’t an unreasonable request.

Kakashi’s hands slid down Sasuke's arms, somehow both soothing and leaving a prickling sensation in their wake. “If Naruto found out…”

“He won’t,” Sasuke said with certainty.

“Sakura might,” Kakashi argued, his hands slipping to Sasuke’s waist. He shifted so that they were face to face once more, their mouths only inches apart. His eyes drifted down to Sasuke’s lips, and the genin knew he was fighting hard to resist.

“That doesn’t matter,” Sasuke breathed. “As long as she keeps her mouth shut.” Reaching up, Sasuke brushed his fingers over the jounin’s covered lips, suppressing a wince of pain from his shoulder. He slowly fingered the edge of the material covering Kakashi’s face, drawing his nail over it until it hooked into the edge. He pulled, slowly revealing the jounin’s features. He paused with the material just above the lips, his eyes locking onto Kakashi’s mismatched pair. “What Naruto doesn’t know can’t hurt him.” He tugged. The moment Kakashi’s lips were free, he closed the distance, his eyes fluttering shut as he licked Kakashi’s lower lip, his own caressing it and then pulling back.

The jounin wasted no time. He gripped Sasuke’s waist, pulling the boy closer and substantiating the kiss.

Sasuke was happy to relinquish control, allowing Kakashi to dominate him. The jounin’s talented tongue and teeth easily manipulated him, inexperienced as he was. However, before the kiss grew passionate, Sasuke seized up, the curse mark re-affirming its hold on him as soon as he began to relax. He convulsed once, and Kakashi pulled away.

The jounin studied him for a moment, becoming grim-faced and quickly leading Sasuke to the center of the room. He forced the boy to his knees, gently stripping off Sasuke's shirt and exposing his torso.

Feeling as though he was vulnerable and on display, Sasuke wished he could cover himself, but the effort of holding back the curse was too much. He sucked in a breath and allowed Kakashi to examine the seal.

From the tingling touch of the written preparation to the writhing agony of the jutsu, the sealing process was like nothing Sasuke had ever felt before. Even the bite that had infected him with the mark paled in comparison to the crawling whirl of fire that seemed to last forever. Kakashi was ruthless, not holding back for a moment, no matter how Sasuke screamed. Even after Kakashi let him go, his muscles spasmed and locked until he thought his skin would tear. Then, the fit passed, and he panted in relief, a white haze temporarily blanking out all thought. He heard Kakashi's warning about his own will acting as the key, but that was the last thing he could comprehend before the ground rushed up to meet him.

*

Even as Sasuke lost consciousness, Kakashi found himself considering the boy's proposal. On one hand, he ought to have learned his lesson from fooling around with Naruto. On the other... Sasuke was a different sort, altogether, and it was he who made all the advances. Normally, Kakashi might take this opportunity to nudge the two boys together, but with the seal compromising Sasuke, Kakashi was going to have to stick close to ensure that nothing triggered the curse, and maybe a little pleasure was just the thing to distract from all that pain. Perhaps Kakashi could even provide some impetus to maintain a strong will to hold back the curse.

There was something to be said for a boy who could withstand that curse for days―fighting back his very limit―and then try his hand at seduction. Sasuke had earned a little pampering at least.

"For all your posturing, you're totally exhausted," he mused, planning to take the boy to the hospital for some supervised rest.

Relaxed and amused as he was, the sealing technique had cost him a little more strength than he expected―a fact he lamented almost immediately as a voice straight out of nightmare sounded at his back. He hadn't heard it since he was a young anbu operative.

"Look at you, now with sealing techniques under your belt... How far you've come, Kakashi."

There was no one in the world who could make Kakashi's skin crawl like Orochimaru. How long had he been listening? How much had he heard? Did he know of the weakness that had formed in Kakashi for Naruto? Had he heard only Sasuke's bold advance? Or had he arrived while Kakashi was occupied activating the sealing technique?

So little time had he been overseeing these boys, and already they were bringing down his guard and creating dangerous vulnerabilities. That was one important reason why Kakashi had avoided taking things with Naruto beyond the surface. If an enemy like Orochimaru got wind of sentiment between Kakashi and the team he was responsible for...

By the sounds of it, Orochimaru knew nothing, or the vulgar snake would be ribbing at him with dirty snipes and suggestions. Kakashi shrugged off the paranoia. Orochimaru was too dangerous for wayward thoughts.

Of course he was after the sharingan. The seal, the infiltration... It was all about Sasuke. How had Kakashi not realized sooner that the sharingan was Orochimaru's goal? He was too confident in himself, and by leading Sasuke to a private spot without any backup, he was going to get them both killed.

Iruka would probably laugh. Had Kakashi expected Sasuke to make a move like that? Had he wanted it? Why else would he arrange for the two of them to be alone, knowing that a villain as cunning and powerful as Orochimaru had been sighted in the village―knowing that Sasuke had been targeted once already?

Whatever the case may be, Kakashi could not let Sasuke be taken as a result of his own carelessness. He gathered his nerves and chakra and let the chidori paint a brave face upon his mask with its threatening, shifting light.

"You might be one of the legendary three, but I'm strong enough now to at least give as good as I get!"

Orochimaru was no fool. He saw right through the bluff. As he walked away, mocking such bravado, Kakashi's legs quaked in fear. For all of his techniques, for all the benefits of the sharigan he sported, he couldn't so much a clip Orochimaru's hair.

The knowledge that the sage could take Sasuke if he wanted but chose to let the boy go to him instead filled Kakashi with cold dread. He had to give Sasuke a reason to stay, be it power or passion... Whatever Sasuke asked of him...he would have.

As for himself, Kakashi found himself craving the light and laughter of his other subordinates. After delivering Sasuke into the care of his trusted former anbu subordinate, Yugao, and the rest of her current team to stand guard at the hospital, he hurried back to the arena.

It was like side-stepping into a different universe. Two words from Naruto and the panic that still prickled in Kakashi's nerves finally settled. By the end of the Sand puppeteer's match, he felt much more himself, soothed by Naruto's mysterious, jovial power.

He was forced to admit that he had already been swayed to a deeper bond than he claimed. Iruka really would laugh if he ever found out...but he was right. Naruto deserved better than Kakashi, who had soaked up too much darkness and too much sorrow. If the Fourth were alive, he would be disappointed. At least Kakashi might be able to do some good for Sasuke, who seemed destined to walk the darker paths he himself had learned to tread.

Having seen the preliminary exam through, Kakashi hurried over to the hospital to check on his young charge. On one hand, he didn't see the point of Orochimaru making a move on Sasuke now when he'd walked away earlier. On the other...he wasn't entirely surprised to find the anbu disabled and the suspicious, white-haired Konoha genin on the scene.

Yakushi, Kabuto. Both evidence and instinct insisted that something was off about the cool-headed genin. Kakashi was going to have to get Sasuke out of the compromised hospital ward and train him privately at a secret location. That was the only way to both avoid further incident, and keep the boy from being stifled and coddled when he needed the exact opposite. That wouldn't sit well with Naruto, but then, not much would at this point.

Still, Kakashi maintained that he did not regret spending a night with the boy. Whatever else came of it, he knew he had given Naruto a gift that would bloom in due time.

*

Naruto was sleepless. He kept chasing his thoughts around in circles. They'd made it through the forest, and he and Sasuke had gotten through to the next round. Sakura had grown a lot, too. She'd even hacked off all her pretty hair... But Sasuke had proven again and again why he was the top of their class. It was infuriating, but Naruto had to admire his sheer talent. What had been a struggle for Naruto at every step seemed to have come so easily to Sasuke.

At least, in terms of the official tests. That creepy snake dude... He had to have been after Sasuke. He was too interested in the sharingan, and pressing Sasuke to give in. He wasn't the only one focused on Sasuke, either. Kabuto couldn't keep his damn eyes to himself.

And Sasuke... For the first time, he had acknowledged Naruto as a rival. He had to be in pain from that weird mark or whatever... Naruto just hoped he would feel better with some rest. Because Sasuke wanted to fight him, and they just might get that chance.

What was important now was that Naruto train hard for the next month. He wasn't going to struggle through the finals like he had done to get there. He was going to show Sasuke...and that prick, Neji, and that Sand guy, and Kabuto, too, for that matter...and Kakashi. Especially Kakashi.

The jounin hadn't taken any responsibility whatsoever for conning Naruto out of his virginity. The least he could do was help Naruto prepare for the final stage of the exam. Even if he didn't care about Naruto on a personal level, he must at least want to secure his reputation as a superior... He had two genin going into the finals, and they were his first team ever, at that! If that didn't motivate him, maybe nothing could.

If Naruto was secretly excited at the prospect of spending more time with Kakashi, he didn't admit so to himself. If his thoughts inevitably strayed to the potential for finally talking with Kakashi about what they'd done and what he wanted, he attempted to distract himself. When that failed, he told himself he could be content with comprise. He wouldn't feel so lonely if he could at least share his bed with Kakashi now and again... Right? It wasn't such a bad idea, and Kakashi had nothing to lose by it.

Just remembering what it had felt like to be touched lit embers beneath Naruto's skin. He felt heat in his cheeks and his belly, and his fingers automatically brushed over his navel. His breath hitched as his fingers inched toward his groin. He tried to recall what Kakashi's fingers had done to him and the sensations stirred by those touches. Though he wasn't quite brave enough to try and stuff his fingers up into his asshole, he circled and massaged the bud with one hand while the other beat his swelling cock. His mouth falling open, he thrust back and forth into one hand and then the other, picturing Kakashi in his mind's eye...but it wasn't enough. Without that direct stimulus inside of him, or the sensation of another man's touch on his skin...

Before he knew it, he was summoning a shadow clone, and his dick disappeared down a hot, wet tunnel as trimmed nails stimulated his buttcheek. Cracking his eyes open to take in the view, he was so shocked by the sight of his dick crammed down Sasuke's throat that he simultaneously lost control of the shadow clone and came hard into thin air, a jet of cum arcing through the puff of smoke where his transformed clone had been moments ago.

Shivering, he wondered if it was as wrong as it seemed to use shadow clones in that way...or Sasuke's likeness, for that matter. Uncomfortable, he got up and washed himself down, trying to rinse away the guilt that gnawed at him, but even as he crawled back into bed, trying to focus on the coming trial and forget his indiscretion, he knew it would not be the last time he gave in to that particular temptation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dat tongue, tho... #SorryNotSorry


	3. The Tournament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats* Chapter Two was the worst thing I've ever written, in a lot of ways—not the least of which being that it took me over a decade to figure out what I was trying to do with it and then just claw it together and make it work. @_@ I really tried my best to write the context in where it played directly off the episodes, but I kinda gave up on that in favor of actually finishing and posting this damn fic once and for all. Apologies if you got lost at any point.
> 
> But that's all over now. Now, we can move on with mostly new material and enjoy the ride. And I never have to watch the chuunin exam section for inspiration and context ever again.

Could Naruto possibly be more transparent in his bid to have Kakashi train him for the month prior to the final exam? He certainly had a long way to go where strategy and deception were concerned. His desire to train was genuine enough, but his ulterior motives were just as plain. It was harder than Kakashi thought to brush off that eager excitement, but that was how it had to be. Sasuke needed him much more right now.

It had nothing to do with a growing sense of dejavu around that blond mop, or confusion in his own feelings. Besides, Iruka would be happy if Kakashi left Naruto alone, right?

"I don't have time to mess around teaching you tricks," he deflected.

"I bet you're just gonna go and train Sasuke, instead." Naruto's response was much more perceptive than he had expected, and it took Kakashi by surprise.

Waiting for the follow-up of accusatory jealousy, Kakashi was further surprised to realize that Naruto hadn't even made the connection yet between training Sasuke and educating him in other ways. Relieved, he agreed that he meant to train Sasuke and shrugged the matter off, foisting Naruto off on Ebisu.

If he was concerned by Naruto's nickname for the other jounin, he concealed it well. If jealousy began to stir at the implied history between the two, he stamped it down. He knew he had been Naruto's first, so whatever Ebisu had done to earn the nickname "Closet Pervert" can't have been too drastic.

But what exactly did too drastic constitute? Naruto was still just a child, barely beginning to grow up when he first joined Kakashi's team. If that pervert had so much as touched him...

Kakashi caught the jounin stepping out of a small yakitori stand down a side alley. In swift and utter silence, he had a kunai pressed dangerously close to the man's crotch. He let out a calming breath before temptation got the better of him.

"Good evening, Ebisu," he rasped, threat lingering in every molecule of air that escaped his lips.

"Ha-Hatake, Kakashi..."

"Or should I call you 'Closet Pervert?'"

"You-you've got it all wrong! I'm not... I never...!"

"About Naruto's training... I can't change the past, but I can make it even if you give me the slightest reason to. "

"I won't! I would never! That unattractive brat...!?" Ebisu dissolved into manic laughter.

Twisting the knife so that its tip pressed right up against the base of Ebisu's limp dick, Kakashi snarled. Behind his eyes flashed a vision of a man Naruto began to resemble more and more every day.

"That is _my_ pupil― _my_ brat―you're referring to, and he's going to grow up stunning, so you just keep your sick hands to yourself and put any ideas of taking advantage of him out of your head!"

Because he was going to spill blood if he didn't check himself, Kakashi took a step backwards, tension beating in his veins. Ebisu wasted no time making his escape, immediately disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Once he was gone, Kakashi tore his mask from his face, gulping down air. He was trembling, the kunai hanging limply from his fingers as he leaned back against the alley wall.

It wasn't supposed to go like that. A smooth threat. A cool retreat. Where had that animosity come from? He was hardly one to point fingers... Who'd taken more advantage of Naruto than he had? Iruka was right. He was a monster. A sick, twisted, jealous, delusional monster.

*

Naruto closed his eyes, concentrating his chakra to his feet. Damn Kakashi. He would succeed and show that bastard that he was worthy. Kakashi would learn to take him seriously once he breezed through this training.

It was just that… Naruto had really expected Kakashi to supervise his training. He had been looking forward to the time they would be spending together. It wasn’t as though he was expecting to get anything but training out of that time, but as for his hopes… He would have liked to be alone with Kakashi, even just to talk to him about what had happened.

He would probably never get that chance. Kakashi was off training with Sasuke. The worthy disciple.

Naruto grimaced, losing control of his chakra even as he stepped onto the water. He tried to focus quickly, but wavered and fell in as he had done so many times before.

The closet pervert watched him fall as usual, looking as superior as always.

Damn Kakashi. The least he could do was train Naruto personally. Of course, he probably didn’t think he owed Naruto anything. Naruto didn’t really think that himself. It was a childish way to act, but he didn’t much care when he was hurting like this. Worse, somehow, his failure to mold and control chakra translated into Kakashi’s failure to train him, and he became angrier and angrier, until he was startled out of his reverie by the closet pervert’s defeat at the hands of some dirty old bastard.

Damn Kakashi. He was going to pay for sticking Naruto with a poser who couldn't even stand up to some old dude and his frog!

*

Hayate...

Kakashi managed to suppress his gradually spiraling emotions until he made it out of the village and away from observant eyes. Only then did he allow the rising torrent of sorrow and panic to overcome him. He ran, desperately, pushing his chakra-fed limbs to their limits until he came to the river that would lead him to the cliff face that was his destination.

Falling to his knees by the water, he pulled his mask down and splashed his face with water. He felt ill. His heart was pounding and his eyes ached with more tears than he could expel.

He hadn't known Hayate intimately, but he'd admired the man's technique, and had overseen his girlfriend, Yugao, as a member of the anbu. She had been present when Kabuto made his duplicity known by infiltrating Sasuke's hospital room. She had lived through that incident only to be confronted now with Hayate's untimely death.

It had been a long time since Kakashi had felt so weak and powerless. First, the confrontation with Orochimaru had left him trembling in his boots. Then Kabuto had penetrated the defenses Kakashi himself had assigned. Now this. Hayate, dead on Konoha soil.

The fear... It was irrational. He was strong! He could stand against Orochimaru. He may not come out of it alive, but he would certainly leave a mark! As for Kabuto, he was confident that he could win that battle, though it would be far from easy.

The calmer he grew, sweat cooling on his skin, the more apparent it became. Kakashi was afraid because his own life wasn't what mattered most to him anymore. Naruto... Sasuke... Sakura... They were his students, his responsibility...his family. They were to him what Hayate was to Yugao. And they weren't ready. They weren't strong enough to stay safe.

First, Sasuke. Without Sasuke, there was no way forward for either Naruto or Sakura, and it was Sasuke who Orochimaru was targeting. It was high time he learned the chidori.

Kakashi would need to sharpen his own skills, too. He couldn't afford to rest on his laurels anymore. There was too much at stake.

At the foot of the cliff, Kakashi took in the fresh, clean air for a moment and worked to clear his mind. It was easy enough to walk up the vertical incline with chakra flowing out through his feet, but that wouldn't make him stronger. Looking up at the imposing rock face, he affixed one arm behind his back and began channeling chakra through his fingertips.

He was going to become strong enough to keep them all alive.

*

Sasuke lay upon the open ground, basking in the sun. It was a relief to be free of that stifling hospital room, at last. It hadn't been easy to make his escape, but now that he had succeeded, Kakashi could hardly claim he wasn't ready to train.

Speak of the devil...

A pulse of chakra alerted Sasuke to his superior's arrival. He got up from the ground and brushed himself down, peering over the edge of the cliff. What he saw sent a thrill of appreciation through him.

He'd seen Kakashi's strength first hand, but finding the man climbing a sheer cliff one-handed for no particular reason was a new bar. He swallowed down his awe.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Oh, good. You finally made it," Kakashi ribbed, as if their positions were reversed and he had been waiting atop the cliff for hours rather than hanging by his fingertips.

That comment tweaked something in Sasuke, and the curse stirred idly in his blood. If he attacked now, Kakashi would be at a solid disadvantage. That would teach him to...

Before Sasuke could even finish the thought, Kakashi was standing at his back and strong arms came up around him, making him gasp. A shiver of fresh awe rippled across his skin.

Kakashi was clearly worn from the climb, swaying a little once he had solid ground under his feet and Sasuke trapped in his arms, but there was no illusion. Sasuke didn't stand a chance.

Be that as it may, Kakashi wasn't interested in fighting. His hold was gentle and nonthreatening, secure though it might be. He reached up to free his face and then reaffirmed the embrace, burying his Nose into the top of Sasuke's head. It was intimate and strange. A memory of such warmth tugged vainly at Sasuke, but he crushed it down.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, brusquely. Kakashi may be relaxed, but Sasuke's posture was stiff and wary as he gazed out over the territory that bordered Konoha.

"I made you a promise," Kakashi breathed. "Or have you forgotten?"

Of course he had not forgotten. That wasn't possible. He had, however, expected to have to lead Kakashi to the goal, embarrassing himself in the process. Perhaps he had overestimated the jounin's moral fortitude... Sasuke wasn't convinced that those smutty books were a real hobby for someone so skilled. He wasn't even convinced at the lack of discipline displayed by frequent tardiness. He couldn't deny, though, that Kakashi had fooled around with someone as innocent and immature as Naruto without a whisper of guilt. Why would he shy away from likewise defiling Sasuke?

With a huff of conceited laughter, Sasuke turned to say as much to Kakashi's face, but he was silenced and almost thrown off balance by the gravity in those two odd eyes. If not for the loose circle of Kakashi's arms about his back, he might have tumbled from the edge of the cliff. The combination of inertia leaping in his stomach and shock clawing at his mind caused Sasuke to cling helplessly to the jounin. He was grateful for the support, even as he curbed the show of weakness.

"You can be surprisingly charming, can't you?" Kakashi murmured, softly. As his lips descended, Sasuke didn't bother to correct him.

It was a far cry from the seductive kiss Sasuke had initiated during the second exam. Applying a gentle pressure, Kakashi prised Sasuke's lips apart and eased his tongue between them, encouraging a shy response.

This time, Sasuke didn't have to think about what would make Kakashi want him. Instead, he focused on the sensations that teased his mouth; from Kakashi's soft, thin lips and dexterous tongue, to his rough teeth and the breath steaming from his nostrils to warm Sasuke's face. He thought about how such a kiss might have affected Naruto, and his pulse quickened, inspiring a murmur of wordless approval in the back of his throat.

Halting the kiss, Kakashi moaned ever so softly in response, his hands traveling down Sasuke's back to settle at the slight indent of his waist. His sharingan eye whirled softly.

"I take it you haven't changed your mind, then," he breathed.

Sasuke gathered his resolve and shook his head, though he narrowed his eyes. "Something's off about you."

Kakashi's brows twitched, knitting toward each other momentarily. "I've had...some sad news. I'm hurting," he confessed. "Does it surprise you to learn I'm human?"

No... Yes, in that he simply never expected Kakashi to show such weakness in front of others, let alone his subordinates. Did that make him less of a leader? Or did that put Sasuke to shame for failing to realize how much trust Kakashi placed in him?

Human... Of course Kakashi was human. But, vulnerable...? Vulnerability was something a ninja was trained to conceal at all costs, and Kakashi was no amateur. If he trusted someone enough to show such emotional weakness, that was a mark of how closely he valued them. As closely as family... Not that Sasuke would know anything about that.

He was irritated for a moment, because that kind of emotional manipulation wasn't what he'd signed up for. He didn't need soft kisses and romantic notions of intimacy...but he had to admit it felt good.

Channeling what remained of his irritation, Sasuke reached for a familiar barb to conceal his confusion. "Is that how you―?"

"Forget about Naruto," Kakashi rumbled in a deep, gravel tone that went straight to Sasuke's pleasure receptors. "Don't make this about him to deflect from what you feel. This is about what you want...and what we both need. There's no need to cheapen it."

Sasuke's cheeks flushed with shame, but he took the scold like a man, grabbing Kakashi's clothes and pushing and pulling until they fell to the ground together, a few steps from the cliff. From that point on, any soft vulnerability was lost in pointed desire, and Sasuke began to learn all about how to control someone with pleasure and longing. He strained under Kakashi's nimble fingers and hungry teeth, crying out unabashed as a controlled current of electricity coursed from Kakashi's tongue directly to his balls. That was the first time he experienced an unexpected orgasm at Kakashi's hands, but it was far from the last.

As Kakashi loomed over him, his hot arousal crammed up against Sasuke's entrance, it occurred to the boy that he'd never bothered to ask what had upset the man. He promptly forgot such a selfless concept as his body was stretched open and a whole new scope of sensation assaulted him. He could feel the chakra buzzing inside of him, stretching and easing, paving Kakashi's way into his body. He could also feel the incomprehensible sensation of foreign skin and flesh sliding inside of him. He grit his teeth, trying to subdue his reaction, but it left him in a groaned gasp and he turned his face aside. Kakashi was inching up inside of him and it felt strange, and...painfully wonderful.

Guiltily, he wondered if this was what Naruto had felt. Had Kakashi been so rough and presumptive when he claimed Naruto's virginity? If so...had Naruto enjoyed it as intensely as Sasuke now was?

The images and thoughts that swamped him were almost as stimulating as the physical invasion, and Sasuke found himself flattening the back of his hand over his mouth to hold back a cry, whimpering softly, instead. His head spun when Kakashi froze, the ridges of his cock tugging passively at Sasuke's tight, virgin orifice.

"Pain?" Kakashi huffed. "Or pleasure?"

If he wasn't already flushed red, the heat that infused Sasuke's cheeks at that question would do the trick. He considered, though, and was surprised by a twinge of hurt from the mark of the curse sealed into his flesh. That pain was entirely different to that which spread from Sasuke's bottom, and there was no denying that the primary difference was in a desire for more compared to abject rejection.

"Both," he finally responded. "Don't stop. It's... It's good."

If he'd thought Kakashi might make light of his sordid confession, Sasuke needn't have feared, because he was soon rocking with ecstasy as Kakashi took his advice, sending shallow waves of sensation through his lower half. He forgot to rein in his voice as pleasure grew to become the dominant sensation, causing him to think of nothing at all but what he was feeling. He vaguely registered that Kakashi was grunting words at him, but by that point, his insides had begun to clench up and he couldn't make sense of anything but the fact that sex felt better than anything he could have imagined.

By the time Sasuke was capable of coherent thought again, Kakashi was as spent as he was, lying in a messy jumble at Sasuke's side, his sharingan lidded and only the one, black orb taking in whatever picture Sasuke made. Still catching his breath, Sasuke considered what to say. He felt unusually drained, and though he wanted to express his appreciation of what he'd just experienced, he couldn't think of any words to do it justice. Part of him toyed with the temptation to make some light quip, and reduce the bond they had made to something non-threatening, but that vulnerability was back in Kakashi's face, and he couldn't bring himself to ruin the moment.

"I'm going to make you strong," Kakashi whispered, his gaze intense. "Then...it will be all right."

To Sasuke's surprise, Kakashi's eye drifted closed and his breath settled into a pattern of solid, unguarded sleep. Whatever had affected his mood must have taken a deeper toll than he'd let on. For some reason Sasuke couldn't fathom, that made him seem not weak...but strong.

For the first time in weeks, Sasuke's jealousy surrounding Naruto faded to a dull impression of purpose that lay at the heart of the anticipation to begin training. He was going to get strong, just like Kakashi promised. Truly strong. Strong enough to be someone worthy of Naruto's admiration...and Kakashi's trust.

*

There wasn't time for much beyond the training the pervy sage offered and nagging against the perving the sagely perv was more inclined to, but Naruto did take some time to try and read the books his make-shift teacher lent him, if only to try and better understand Kakashi. Who would have thought he would have this kind of access to the author of Kakashi's first and foremost interest?

However, the more he tried to read, the less he got it. The books were so full of crass, comical smut that didn't show an ounce of actual emotion. Aside from the fact that the heterosexual interactions got less and less exciting the more Naruto thought about it, he just couldn't get into the characters at all. They were so shallow. It was all boobs, this and butts, that. Kinda like that closet perv.

If Naruto hadn't felt the heat and passion of Kakashi's kisses, he might have believed the man's shallow front, but he just didn't buy it. Kakashi was definitely hiding behind these books, but Naruto had no idea why.

 _Why can't we just...?_ He abandoned the unfinished thought.

In all honesty, Naruto was getting tired of feeling lonely and confused. He didn't want to dwell in rejection. He just wanted to move on with his life and get stronger―strong enough to make Sasuke eat his dust, and to make Kakashi sorry for ever letting him feel unworthy.

Turning his thoughts from Kakashi was easy enough, because Sasuke was always there in the back of Naruto's mind, and that was a double-edged blade. On one hand, imagining how Sasuke's training might be coming along motivated Naruto to work hard. On the other, imagining Sasuke training shirtless and sweating in the sun was just about the most distracting exercise ever.

One night, overheated by such thoughts and overstimulated by the feel of the sheets on his skin, Naruto slipped out to take a walk in the cool night air. He'd hoped it would calm him down and allow him to get some sleep, but even the light wind made his skin tingle.

Sitting down by the riverbank, Naruto stared off into the night, his contemplation of where Sasuke might be and what Kakashi might be doing growing into vivid concepts and visions. Before he could stop himself, he had made a pair of clones, who took on the appearances of Sasuke and Kakashi respectively. Even though he knew they were his own clones, Naruto's heart pounded with nerves as he shyly responded to kisses from one and then the other.

To his surprise, his arousal actually began to fade as the Sasuke clone kissed him for a third time. The deep, tongue-filled exchange faded to a slow, lingering caress of lips on lips, and Naruto's heart clenched until two tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Enough of that," scolded the Kakashi clone, wiping his face dry with a sturdy thumb. "We're going to grind this lame self-pity right out of your system, and tomorrow you're going to grin, and train, and show them all what you're made of. Got it?"

Naruto made a noise of affirmation, and nodded.

"Good," growled the Sasuke clone. A moment later, he softened. "Then, just this once..." He balanced Naruto's chin on his finger, then leaned in for another soft, emotional kiss, slowly pushing Naruto down to the grass.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," the Kakashi clone whispered before taking over.

"I just...wanted somebody to love," Naruto gasped as the two transformed clones took charge of his body.

"Idiot," scolded the Kakashi clone, pinning him with a look of exasperated affection. "You have to start with yourself."

*

The gourd-carrying genin from the Hidden Sand was a frightening one, that was for sure. Even Kakashi felt on edge when those dark-ringed eyes settled on him as he questioned the boy's business with Sasuke. The genin's fixation with the vengeful Sasuke made sense enough, considering their similar outlooks, but that didn't mean it wasn't brimming with madness. Was that what happened to a person who didn't ever sleep? It would explain a lot, like those eyes sunk into deep, black pits.

After the boy left the vicinity of their open-air training ground, Kakashi approached Sasuke from behind and gently brought his hands down upon tense shoulders. The way Sasuke jerked under his touch said it all.

"It's simple," Kakashi soothed. "As long as you win, his threats are empty."

"I'll win," Sasuke growled, chakra stirring in the air about him. "There's no way I'd let him through to fight Naruto!" By the sound of his gasp, Sasuke had not intended to speak so honestly. He shook Kakashi off, covering with hauteur. "He's got another thing coming if he thinks I'm anyone's prey. I'll be the one to snap him up!"

"Don't get sucked into his mind games," Kakashi warned. "You won't be killing anyone. You can't afford to."

Kakashi watched as Sasuke gathered his chakra once more. His body was tense, ready to run, his sharingan eyes focused on the goal ahead.

Their training was almost over. Soon, it would be time for the exam, and when that time came, he would need to be a lot faster at forming the chidori, or he would be killed before he could use it.

As Sasuke formed the symbols that would invoke the lightning fist, Kakashi relaxed back against a gouged boulder. The presence of another ninja brought reality to this place that had seemed outside of time and space. Soon, this month of mutual training and bond-building would be over... Whatever else may happen, Kakashi presumed he would no longer be privy to Sasuke's young body after the exam―and Sasuke did have a fabulous body. From the very first time he had allowed himself to be taken by Kakashi, the jounin had been hooked. It was the way Sasuke moved, the way he tried so hard not to cry out and made Kakashi work even harder to force those delicious sounds past his lips. Every one was earned, and every one was worth the effort. Sasuke was a fast learner, too. Once he had gotten past the initial shyness, he’d learned to put his lips and tongue to good use. It made Kakashi regret that he had been too closed and independent to try taking Itachi to bed back in the day. He even had to wonder if a little humanity and closeness might have made all the difference to a teen whose struggles had gone unseen...

Whatever may have been then, this time, Kakashi had gotten a little insight into Sasuke's emotions. He was able to see through the hard front to the feelings harbored beneath―feelings for Naruto. Sasuke didn’t even realize just how much he cared. He probably passed it off as just a childish crush, but the truth was that he truly had a cold heart, and for him to care about Naruto even a little meant that he was probably in love with the boy.

He would never act on that, though. Never. Sasuke was too jaded to acknowledge his emotions as more than mere, trifling whims. It was too bad. Perhaps those two would be able to heal each other if they could see past their noses.

Kakashi could, and he was thankful for it as he watched Sasuke bore into yet another rock. His eyes were not focused on the chidori that blew the rock apart, but rather, on Sasuke’s movement, his determination, his purpose. Their training had transformed him, somewhat. He had always been resilient, but now, the curse engraved upon his flesh was like the blades of a fan, channeling harmless air into a purposeful torrent.

Perhaps he had even benefited from the chemical and psychological effects of sharing his body with another. If he felt any kind of attachment to Kakashi whatsoever, or had developed any deep-seated desire to share what he had experienced with Naruto, he wouldn't fall into Orochimaru's hands so easily.

What he needed now was for Naruto to reach out and take away his hesitation. What Sasuke would never initiate, Naruto just might if he found the confidence.

*

At first, it was hard to focus on the endgame with Sasuke mysteriously absent from the arena, but Naruto knew he wouldn't miss this opportunity for the world. For Naruto, it was a chance to show everyone―Sasuke, Kakashi, and everyone else―that he was a force to be reckoned with. Likewise, for Sasuke, it was the ultimate chance to show off and prove his skills against powerful opponents. Most importantly, it was an excuse for them to test themselves against one another to the utmost limit without reprimand for damages or repercussions for turning their blades upon allies.

It was that exciting prospect that got Naruto's head back in the game. If Sasuke showed up to find that Naruto had lost in the first round, there would be no end to the humiliation. Besides, that Neji had some lame hang-up about fate or destiny, or whatever, and Naruto couldn't let that stand.

His victory was highly satisfying, especially after all Neji had put Hinata through in the name of his rigid beliefs...but it wasn't nearly enough. Naruto couldn't wait to sic his mighty toad boss on Sasuke's tiny ass and watch his jaw drop!

But first, Sasuke had to crush that nasty Sand dude... The reality of that fact made Naruto nervous in a way that Sasuke's absence did not. That Gaara wasn't just dangerous...he was driven. Naruto understood him in ways too disturbing to admit. Maybe it would be better if Sasuke didn't show up, after all. In fact, Naruto almost wished there was a chance of that happening.

There wasn't. Sasuke would be there. He was with Kakashi―he had to be! It only made sense they would be late. Kakashi was always late.

A touch of melancholy set in as Naruto considered how much time the two must have spent together over the last month while he trained under that pervy sage...but they were going to lose it when they saw what he'd learned!

Sasuke would surely show up with some new tricks, too! After all, he got to have Kakashi as a mentor, not some ancient relic Naruto hadn't even heard of before. Kakashi was just about the strongest ninja Naruto knew, next to the Hokage. Sasuke wouldn't let that kind of mentorship go to waste. He was going to flatten Gaara, and then he and Naruto could finally let loose!

All throughout Shikamaru's match, such thoughts ran amuck in Naruto's head, until he couldn't hold back his hectic energy. He wasn't thinking at all when he jumped down to give Shikamaru a piece of his mind. He'd totally forgotten that the next match would either be Sasuke's...or forfeit in favor of Gaara.

His nerves on edge, Naruto kept searching for any sign of his rival, but before he knew it, the moment of forfeit arrived. He was just about to draw breath to forestall the verdict and beg for a little more time when his skin broke out in little ripples of sensation all over and a powerful aura appeared at his back.

Sasuke... And Kakashi.

They both looked calm and collected, as if they had been standing there for hours. They both looked...like a dream.

The wind swirling wildly with their entrance explained the chills Naruto felt, but not the pleasant buzz that came with them. He stared in awe just long enough for Kakashi to casually apologize for the delay and Sasuke to state his name. Then, the thrill welled up in him, and Naruto felt as though everything was well and right. Sasuke had made it, and he was going to win this match against Gaara.

"I figured you were too scared of fighting me to show," Naruto ribbed.

Sasuke ignored the barb, immediately asking after Naruto's match. He was clearly just as pumped as Naruto was.

If there was anything that dampened the moment, it was the lack of reaction from Kakashi. Instead of congratulating Naruto on beating that stick in the mud, Neji, he asked after Sasuke's status, as if that was all that mattered.

But Naruto wouldn't let it get to him. Today was the day he finally put Sasuke in his place, and then even Kakashi would have to acknowledge him.

The high lasted as he headed to the stands, right up until the moment Naruto and Shikamaru witnessed Sasuke's horrifying opponent murder two foreign ninja in hot, curdled, deadly blood. Naruto's knees went out from under him and Sasuke's face appeared in his mind, confident and unsuspecting.

Naruto had never known the awful, debilitating feeling of fearing for the life of a loved one. He'd never had anybody to love... He'd never had anybody to lose.

*

He may have been the one to train Sasuke, but even Kakashi was impressed by his young pupil's performance against Gaara of the Hidden Sand. All that physical stamina, speed, and strength they had built up together was on full display.

While Kakashi regretted having missed Naruto's underdog victory against the Hyuuga clan's branch family prodigy, he was glad they had made it in time to stir up the crowd's anticipation with such a dramatic entrance. Eventually, it would be Naruto who reaped he benefit of showing his skills against the favored Uchiha―win or lose.

Not that he was likely to win this time around, and Kakashi would have to take some responsibility for that. He had left Naruto with that capable but hardly outstanding Ebisu to strengthen his foundations, but there was no way such training―however necessary―could stand up to the power Sasuke had developed in so short a time. It wasn't exactly fair...but there was more at stake than the exam. Training Sasuke had been an essential move in order to secure the Uchiha orphan's future among the Hidden Leaf. That, too, would eventually prove to Naruto's benefit.

Still... Hyuuga, Neji... Naruto had won against a formidable opponent. Ebisu must have done him some good. Kakashi just hoped that was all Ebisu had done...

A faint shiver affected the jounin as he gazed down at his star pupil, locked in rigorous combat. He remembered vividly everything he himself had done to Sasuke in the past month...and yet, the taste of Naruto's skin and the cadence of his erotically hitched breath was just as fresh in Kakashi's mind.

He was on the verge of admitting to himself that training Sasuke was as much about avoiding Naruto as any other valid reason when the boy's voice rang out behind him. He turned to find Naruto in a fluster.

No, it was much more than that. Naruto was no coward, but he was worked up into a lather of terror that cut right to Kakashi's heart. Whatever he had seen or heard, he was convinced Sasuke's life hung in the balance of this match. It was absurd, of course. Gaara was a formidable opponent, but Sasuke had trained specifically to counter and overcome anything the ninja from the Hidden Sand might throw at him, particularly any murderous attempts. On top of that, he had mastered his chakra control so finely that the curse sealed into him shouldn't so much as provide a distraction. There was nothing for Naruto to fear, not where Sasuke was concerned.

Of course, Kakashi―on alert for Orochimaru's next move―couldn't have guessed at all that would come to pass. To think that not one, but two jinchuuriki had entered the chuunin exam at once... It was almost too scripted.

When Sasuke took off after the genin trio from the Sand, Kakashi's fear was reserved primarily for the prospect that Gaara's blood lust might get the best of Sasuke and weaken the seal Kakashi had worked so hard to fortify. He couldn't allow that to happen. There was nothing for it but to send Naruto and Sakura. If anyone could stop Sasuke from going too far, it was surely Naruto.

The catastrophic events that followed shook Kakashi to the core. On one hand, Naruto made him proud by subduing Gaara, even as Sasuke ignored Kakashi's strictures and pushed his chakra beyond the brink, activating the curse. He was, in the end, just relieved that they both made it through, returning alive alongside both Sakura and the Naara clan's Shikamaru. His relief, pride, anger, and whatever other emotions, however, went only surface deep. For the second time in his lifetime, Kakashi had been trapped on the sidelines while a Hokage he admired fought bitterly to the death. For all the enmity his young self had carried for Hiruzen after Minato's passing, Kakashi had served under the Fourth for nine long years as an anbu operative under the Hokage's direct command. He had seen first-hand the love and commitment Hiruzen dedicated to Konoha. It struck deep to have come such a long way, and yet still be unable to serve at the Hokage's side in his time of need.

The sadness and sorrow brought back the shadow of darker times, and Kakashi found himself looking to his bright, young proteges to dispel it. As change loomed imminent over the village, Kakashi felt it brewing within him, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun with shadow clones! #SorryNotSorry


	4. Itachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is sexual activity in this chapter where consent is questionable. For those to whom it makes a difference: Technically, Kakashi consents, but only because he will do anything to forestall the alternative (even for a short while). On the other hand, he doesn't exactly consent to being (as per canon) tortured with tsukuyomi, so...

Incalculable solitude. Inconsolable heartache.

Naruto knew Gaara better than he ever wanted. That was why he had fought tooth and nail. Protecting Sakura and fighting alongside Sasuke came second to smacking some sense into Gaara's thick skull.

Having gone head to head with Gaara, he knew now that he wasn't the old Naruto, pathetic and alone. He didn't need Kakashi to love him, or Sasuke, or anyone else. What mattered was that he love them. What mattered was that he protect those who had come into his life and somehow chosen to stay.

That was what the Third had taught him...and now, that man was gone. It was hard to feel disappointment in never having gotten to face Sasuke in the finals. It was hard to feel proud of how he had fought to save the village.

For every spark of the new flame he had discovered while facing Gaara, there was a downpour of rain in his soul. The Hokage was dead.

His depression must have shown, because after the funeral, Iruka pulled Naruto aside, crouching down on the ground and reaching up to caress a face still bruised and battered. The instructor smiled softly as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks.

"The Third would have been so proud of you Naruto," he whispered. "I am. I really am."

That mattered. Just to hear that much...it mattered. Even if it was only a little, Naruto's heart felt lighter. He could always count on Iruka to remind him of all the good in his life. Even if it wasn't always abundant... It was enough.

Touched, Naruto leaned down and pressed his lips to Iruka's cheek in gratitude. He failed to notice the shock that met the sweet action, or the blush that stained Iruka's tanned skin. He was already moving to catch up with his team. There was a lot he wanted to say to Sasuke, and he was going to set things straight with Kakashi, too, even if it killed him. Life was too short to live in the shroud of regret.

Some days after the funeral, Team Seven gathered to officially report to Kakashi on their part in the events that had passed. Given the opportunity, Naruto tried to ask the jounin to join him for ramen. He was ready to be shot down, and quickly changed tactics. If Kakashi wouldn't meet him privately, he'd just drag the man aside and say what he needed to right there in the open.

"Listen. I know why you had to train Sasuke and not me. I get it. What I don't get is why you're trying so hard to avoid me. If I did something wrong...I'm really sorry. I won't let it happen again. I'll stop hoping we can...you know...do more of that stuff... Just don't shut me out again. You're the leader of my team, and..."

Naruto barely knew what he was rambling by the time the comforting warmth of Kakashi's hand came down on his head, ruffling his hair affectionately. He couldn't help the way his cheeks heated, but he made a solid effort not to read anything into the touch―or, at least, not to broadcast the hope it gave him.

"I haven't been fair to you," Kakashi allowed, speaking softly. Naruto slowly looked up to find a softness to what little he could make out of Kakashi's expression.

He allowed himself one last pout, but he didn't want to make progress just to take a big leap backward again, so he grinned and changed the subject. "Damn right, you haven't! So teach me chidori, already!"

Again, Naruto's heart lightened. It was Kakashi's loss, not his, and besides... He felt as though he might just be able to walk on air if he could get Sasuke to acknowledge the growing bond he so wanted to explore between them after the events of the exam had brought them so much closer...

*

The hellraising prankster was one thing. The hard-working but slow genin was another. There were a lot of facets to Naruto that could be written off as childish and dim-witted. Then, there was this growing man who made a solid effort to bridge the gap between them at the expense of his own pride.

He had no idea. That was only natural, of course, because Kakashi had barely begun to figure out for himself how he truly felt about Naruto. At the very least, he was starting to see the shadow of a man long-dead in the boy, and his complicated feelings for that man were causing him significant confusion. Throw Iruka into the mix as a deterrent, not to mention Sasuke...

Just when Kakashi thought he had the young Uchiha all figured out, Sasuke came at him with a counter he never saw coming. He'd thought their dalliance would be over now that they were back in the embrace of the village, with Naruto never far from reach. When Sasuke insisted they meet up for lunch "Like a date," Kakashi didn't know what to believe.

He did know his attraction to Sasuke was less complicated, and certainly not bowed down by deep emotion. If a date or two was the price Sasuke required in exchange for maintaining a physical relationship that would benefit them both, Kakashi wasn't inclined to turn him down. He'd learned from his experience with Naruto that putting a premature end to a relationship could be as damaging as establishing one.

He agreed to meet with Sasuke along the main market street and then get a bite to eat together. For any other jounin and subordinate, an arrangement like that wouldn't be a big deal. For both Kakashi and Sasuke, it was a huge concession.

In the meantime, Kakashi responded to a summons from his old teacher's teacher, most likely having come to pay his respects to the Third, who had been Jiraiya's teacher, in turn. It was some lineage... From the Third to Jiraiya, to the Fourth...and now Naruto, Minato's son, was under Kakashi's tutelage.

It was with guilty relief that Kakashi agreed to entrust Naruto to Jiraiya for the time being. He could guess at why the sage was showing an interest in a kid like Naruto. In fact, anyone who hadn't met Naruto would think it obvious that the powerful Jiraiya would actively want to train the Fourth's son and much-feared host of the Nine-Tails. Jiraiya was in for a surprise.

Then again... Naruto had to have learned that summoning technique from somewhere. Kakashi should have put two and two together. That creep, Ebisu, wasn't responsible for the leaps and bounds Naruto had made. That had to have been Jiraiya's doing.

This realization, however, was overshadowed by the fairly disturbing information about the organization known as Akatuki. Thus, as Kakashi wandered through the streets on his way to meet Sasuke, he had the name "Itachi" on his mind. How many years had it been since he had seen or heard of that prodigy-turned-genocidal fugitive? These days, the only one who ever even made mention of Itachi was Sasuke.

Perhaps it was paranoia born of the ominous aura that descended with that name, but Kakashi found himself curious about a pair of heavily clad travelers he caught sight of entering a tea shop. Trying to get a closer look, he was struck with the idea of what a coincidence it would be if Itachi just happened to wander into town as soon as his name cropped up...

Asuma and Kurenai were quick to pick up on his subtle cues, the Hokage's son even gleaming Kakashi's suspicion by the code he used. Their timely appearance and cooperation in smoking out the two travelers was much appreciated.

By the time Kakashi was surprised by Sasuke (immaculately on time for the date Kakashi had nearly forgotten) and set on edge by the immediate disappearance of his marks, he had long-since developed a bad feeling about them. He just hoped Asuma and Kurenai would proceed with caution. One of those men had clearly reacted to Sasuke's name.

Thinking on his feet, Kakashi decided to take a gamble. "I actually had a big breakfast," he announced. "I thought we could stop in at the tea shop for a light snack, but if you don't want anything sweet, why don't you come by my apartment in a couple of hours? We can get a proper meal after that."

Sasuke didn't seem entirely pleased, but he agreed to reconvene. Judging by his demeanor, he meant to get some training in during the interval. That was for the best. The further away he was from the village proper, the better.

Praying that his instincts were askew, Kakashi summoned Pak-kun to scent out Asuma and Kurenai and rushed to their location. To his regret, his instincts...were dead on.

Whatever skills Itachi had developed since deserting Konoha aside, this was the man who had eliminated the entire Uchiha clan, save Sasuke. Anbu at 11, he had awakened the sharingan at a frighteningly young age. Whatever edge the eye usually gave to Kakashi, it would be a defensive asset at best up against Itachi. His former anbu subordinate knew more about his ablities and limits than he would like, while Kakashi was largely in the dark. This would not be a battle in his favor.

None of that mattered. For Sasuke, who would live in darkness as long as this man drew breath...and for Naruto, who was in severe danger as long as Itachi was targeting him, Kakashi had to give every last whisper of strength he had to taking Itachi out while he had the chance.

It was a brave conviction. It was a fool's crucifix.

It never even occurred to him that Itachi's eyes could nullify his own sharingan's defense and trap him in genjutsu. He had let his guard down...and he paid for it, dearly.

As Itachi explained what his tsukuyomi would do to Kakashi, the old fear returned. If he was trapped in genjutsu, he could do nothing to protect those around him and those he cared for. If this technique broke him, who would be next? Naruto, for the sake of the demon-fox inside of him? Or would Sasuke foolishly challenge his older brother and join the rest of his clan as a stain upon Itachi's blood-drenched hands? By the sounds of it, only a sharingan user of the Uchiha blood could pose a true threat or even resistance to Itachi―and that meant Sasuke was the last thing standing in his way. If Kakashi fell here, Naruto, Sasuke, Kurenai, Asuma, and countless others would be in grave danger... How could Kakashi have been so stupid? How could he now be so powerless?

Over and over the agony repeated. Slow, slicing stabs and quick, vicious thrusts. Over, and over, and over until Kakashi couldn't even remember the faces of those he wanted to protect―only red eyes, raven hair, and deep lines that told of great burden and misery.

It must have been near the three-day mark when the pain abated, and he shivered under the gentle slide of Itachi's fingers across his cheeks, cupping his face. The shiver ran down his whole body in a slow, rolling wave, somewhere between pain and pleasure.

"24 hours," Itachi murmured. "Have you forgotten yet what it feels like to be free of pain? Have you acclimatized? Let me remind you what other sensations there are to be had."

Kakashi was completely at Itachi's mercy. Too exhausted and relieved to try and close his mouth against the invasion of Itachi's tongue, he was quickly overcome by the wonderful caress. His mind immediately latched onto those signals of pleasure like water in a drought. He waited for the sting of a sword-tip against flesh and subsequent rending, but it didn't come. Itachi just continued kissing him, making sweet love to his mouth until he was hard and aching, and had forgotten to steel himself.

The kiss went on until Kakashi was drooling in a mirror of the fluid leaking from his raging erection. Just when he thought he couldn't stand it any longer, Itachi's knee rose up to apply pressure right beneath Kakashi's balls and he came with a violence he could never have imagined. Even as he continued to shudder in the wake of such miraculous pleasure, the inner part of his thigh exploded in tearing pain and the skewering began anew―all the more excruciating for the recent memory of pleasure in contrast.

After two days that felt like fifty, Kakashi had forgotten again what pleasure felt like, or even the absence of pain, and that was when Itachi took him. Slowly and sensually, the wielder of the mangekyo sharingan teased and aroused Kakashi. Tonguing his nipples, stroking sensitive patches of flesh, pressing just so on muscles located near pleasure centers... Little by little, he built Kakashi up to a nirvana that eclipsed everything he'd experienced in the last 42 hours, and then he took Kakashi with a single-minded pursuit of orgasm that almost drained Kakashi dry―over, and over.

And then the swords severed Kakashi's bones from his flesh and tore him apart from the inside out. It was an endless hell enhanced by slivers of heaven.

And then... Then, there was air on his skin and light in his eyes. There was pain, but only that brought on by bumps, cuts, and age. Three days... One short breath. An eternity emblazoned upon his cerebral cortex.

It was a while before Kakashi could squarely meet anyone's eyes again.

*

Sasuke had been looking forward to resuming his training with Kakashi. Just because the exam was over didn’t mean he was going to stop seeking strength. However, he was also eager to see Kakashi for other reasons.

No fool, Sasuke was well aware that Kakashi was using him, much like the selfish jounin had used Naruto. Their first time, shadowed by some deep emotion on Kakashi's part, had thrown Sasuke, but he wasn't prone to delusion. He soon realized he was a substitute for someone else―perhaps Naruto, perhaps not. If so, the mystery of why the jounin didn't just put them all out of their misery and pursue Naruto was one Sasuke couldn't unravel, but it was what it was.

So be it. Sasuke could play at that game, too. After the chaos of the third exam, he was struggling harder than ever to keep his attraction to Naruto under wraps. Never had he imagined the boy capable of such feats of power as summoning and bending to his will a toad of that magnitude, or defeating the monstrous killer that was Gaara transformed in a gigantic killing machine. His pride in his teammate and awe at how rapidly the boy progressed spurred a fresh wave of intrigue and affection that left Sasuke desperate for a more appropriate outlet. He needed Kakashi to siphon off all that unaccustomed sexual tension before he did something he couldn't take back.

He knew, though, that a certain measure of propriety had to be established if they were going to keep sleeping together. Let Naruto see that they were involved. Let him think there was more to it than sex. That way, he'd back off from Kakashi...and just in case he'd gotten any ideas about compromising  
himself with Sasuke...

It was a good plan. As long as Kakashi followed through. Rescheduling their plans at the last minute wasn't a good sign. Sasuke knew exactly what it meant that Kakashi wanted to relocate to his apartment, too. He thought he could distract Sasuke with sex. Well, he was going to learn the hard way that Sasuke didn't give up easily once he had his mind set on something. He'd let Kakashi have his way for a while, and then he was going to drag the man to Ichiraku's for dinner, where Naruto couldn't miss them.

In the end...that wasn’t to be.

Having barged in, ready to pounce Kakashi and take complete control of the situation, Sasuke stopped in his tracks, baffled by what he had walked in on. Kakashi was in bed, looking ragged, and surrounded by jounin. That could only mean he had been injured in some kind of fight.

It hit him a moment before the world shattered. Kakashi hadn't been stalling. He had stumbled across something dangerous and didn't want to involve Sasuke. It might have been offensive if it wasn't clear from Kakashi's state that the enemy was above and beyond anything Sasuke had yet faced. He'd barely gotten away with overusing the chidori against Gaara. The curse was barely under control. What chance did he have against someone who could take down Kakashi? But who...?

The answer turned Sasuke's blood to ice. It was so obvious that he didn't question for a second the careless revelation that Itachi had come to Konoha and fought Kakashi. Only an Uchiha trained and accomplished in the use of his sharingan could do this to Kakashi, and there was only one other Uchiha left alive―the one who had extinguished all the rest.

And Itachi's target was none other than Naruto. It didn't matter why Itachi was after Naruto, only that he was. First Kakashi, now Itachi was targeting the only true light in Sasuke's dim and lonely world. Yet again, he would take away Sasuke's light and love if he wasn't stopped.

Sasuke couldn’t and wouldn’t let the worst happen. He headed straight for Naruto’s apartment. Maybe he would catch the boy before he left. Of course, the worse case scenario was that Itachi was already there...

But the one who came out of Naruto's apartment building, looking cheerful and oblivious, was Sakura. Naruto wasn't there. The next most obvious place was the ramen stand of which Naruto was a semi-permanent fixture. There, Sasuke got the information he needed.

Summoning all of his speed, he took off fast as he could. First, he would find Naruto and make sure the boy got safely back to the village. Then, Sasuke would kill Itachi like he'd always planned and bring it all to an end.

All he could think about was finding Naruto alive and just as oblivious as Sakura. If he believed in some higher power, he would have prayed. Let Naruto be safe... Let Itachi not find him...

Even the thought of coming face to face with his brother after all these years paled in comparison to Sasuke's burning need to protect his friend. If there was anyone Sasuke could call such, it was Naruto.

He wouldn’t let Itachi touch the one person who had penetrated his cold and lonely heart. He wouldn’t let Naruto be hurt. He had to find Naruto first, or else...

Or else... What? What was going to happen, having failed to do that one simple thing? By the time he laid eyes on Naruto, it was already too late. Itachi was already there.

Perhaps, if Naruto hadn’t been there, it would have been different. For just a moment, with the sight of Naruto in his brother's grasp before his very eyes, Sasuke was unable to think clearly. If Naruto died there, at Itachi's hands, he would never forgive himself. It was his responsibility to end Itachi, and he had failed, plain and simple, to do so before Naruto was dragged into their conflict.

He had to do something. He had to fight. And so he did. He fought with all he had. He put all of his hatred and anger into his attacks, going all out from the very beginning with chidori. He gave it everything!

But nothing was enough. He couldn’t save Naruto. He couldn’t save himself. He couldn’t avenge his clan. Instead, he was forced to relive their demise over and over again, until all he could do was scream himself raw.

When he had finally been given the chance he had waited for all these years, he had come at Itachi looking to save Naruto. His feelings made him weak. To kill Itachi, he had to first kill his feelings. Only then could he come at Itachi with pure intent to kill.

As the genjutsu obliterated his sense of reality, Sasuke forgot Naruto, he forgot himself, and he even forgot Itachi. All that was left was the death and destruction of the home―the people―he had loved and cared about. All that was left was the realization that he could never again afford to love another. Nor did he have time to waste on stupid emotions like jealousy. There was no other path for him than intense hatred, and in that: strength. That was all that mattered. Strength to kill even the strongest foe. Strength to put an end to his suffering.

Strength…that he had already been offered. Yes, it was so simple. Why he had not realized it earlier was a mystery. Orochimaru could give him power and that was all he needed.

That was what he came to understand as his worst memories and nightmares melded into one for a veritable eternity. Orochimaru was the answer.

*

At last, Naruto understood the why of what he had known all along. Sasuke was living in pain, just as he himself had been for so long. He'd thought the companionship of Team Seven would be enough to pull Sasuke from that darkness, just as he himself had begun to find his way out. Now, at last, he knew what Sasuke had been living with. He knew the fear and rage Itachi instilled. He knew the cruelty.

It was a shock to learn that Kakashi had fallen prey to the same invisible onslaught that Sasuke had suffered while Naruto looked on, powerless to stop it. He didn't even have the faintest idea what Itachi had done, only that Sasuke was like an empty shell.

At first, the sharingan had misled Naruto to think he was looking at a transformed Sasuke. Itachi looked so much like the young Uchiha Naruto had come to admire. If not for those deep lines that seemed like an engraving of sorrow and hardship down his cheeks, he might be an older version of Sasuke himself.

For a moment, Naruto had been swayed to feel favorably toward the older Uchiha. The weird, threatening grey guy with the gross gills was another kettle of fish...but Naruto was inclined to trust the sharingan he had come to associate with Sasuke and Kakashi.

Only when Sasuke showed up, instantly transforming into a picture of vicious wrath, did he begin to realize his mistake. As the dots began to connect, one by one, he struggled to catch up, and before he knew it, he was frozen in place as Sasuke's chidori faded impotently and reality began to sink in.

Uchiha Itachi was far more terrifying than Gaara had ever been. Every vile act he engaged in was undertaken with cool composure, even when targeting his own younger brother. If only Naruto had known sooner what they were up against. If only he had disregarded Sasuke's bravado and joined in the fight at his teammate's side.

As it was, Naruto was glad Sasuke had lost consciousness, because he didn't think he could look the boy he cared for in the eyes―not until he could purge the pity that churned in his belly. Sasuke would never forgive him for that transgression.

In the aftermath of that brutal, one-sided fight, Naruto was worried for Sasuke, but also more motivated than ever to learn the new technique Jiraiya had promised. Stronger than chidori... He'd need a technique like that if he wanted to save Sasuke from the man chidori hadn't even scratched. He couldn't return to Konoha until he had that technique under his belt. The added incentive of a legendary healer to make everyone well again was icing on the cake. Jiraiya, it seemed, was the answer to Naruto's prayers.

*

Kakashi and Iruka’s relationship had improved greaty after the second chuunin exam. They had almost gotten back to normal during Kakashi's few visits, and Iruka had finally started to trust his lover again―knowing nothing of what was passing between Kakashi and Sasuke. After the third exam, Iruka was cheered by Naruto's apparent recovery, and seemed to be turning a blind eye to the fact that Kakashi had been training the missing Sasuke in secret. That was before the fateful attack that nearly ruined Kakashi. Iruka was positively livid by the time he stormed into Kakashi's hospital room.

“What are you glaring for?” asked the jounin tiredly, completely unaware of his lover’s reasons for being so irrate despite his condition.

“He’s gone,” Iruka growled.

Kakashi just stared blankly, and then blinked.

“Naruto! He’s missing!” the instructor yelled.

“You’re angry at me…” Kakashi stated, puzzled.

“This is all your fault! You stupid… You moronic… Argh!” Iruka swung, his fist heading straight for Kakashi’s face, but it was caught, exhausted though Kakashi was. “This is your fault! He was busy because of the exam, but now that it’s all over, what is there to keep him from being depressed?!” Iruka’s other fist headed straight for Kakashi’s stomach. That was also caught, but the foot that followed it up hit home in the side of Kakashi’s thigh, trapped under the blankets.

After a long moment of trying to conceal his pain and hold back his anger, Kakashi glared straight into Iruka’s eyes, then flinched and looked away. “What the hell was that for?”

“You screwed him and then left. I knew you would, but Naruto didn’t! Any idiot could tell he was hurt, but did you give a damn? No! You took his virginity and then you fucking left him to get over it!”

Kakashi was floored. He’d never heard Iruka use such language. This was the first time he’d ever witnessed the chuunin so outwardly distressed.

Once he recovered, Kakashi took a firmer grip on Iruka’s wrists and shook him once, weakly, to ensure his attention, staring fixedly down at the blanket. “He wanted it. He didn’t hesitate for a moment.”

“Of course he didn’t hesitate! He’s a teenaged boy!” Iruka yelled, throwing his whole body into an attempt to free his arms. Failing this, he hung his head to hide the pain in his eyes. He was meant to be angry, not hurt, but Kakashi wasn't even looking. “You never think about the aftermath, do you? What about when he woke up to find you gone, knowing that he was alone again! What about the next day, and the day after that, when the first person he ever slept with went back to barely acknowledging his existence! Did you think about that? What about when you disappeared for a month and then showed up with Sasuke after leaving Naruto to fend for himself!? Do you even care!? Do you have any idea how he must have been feeling all this time!?”

“Listen to me,” Kakashi quietly ordered, but when Iruka simply turned his face aside, the jounin shook him. “Listen to me!” he growled, snapping his chin up in anger.

Finally, Iruka did meet Kakashi's haunted gaze, his own full of angry tears; tears of hatred. Struggling to maintain eye contact against his cowering instincts, Kakashi took some time to organize his thoughts.

“I gave Naruto something he may never experience again. Something he never expected. Do you think many people will overlook the Nine-Tails? Do you? I know you love him, but would you take that further? Would you make love to him?” Kakashi paused, but it was clear that Iruka was too choked to answer. “Sasuke won’t,” Kakashi continued. “That boy can’t even admit he has feelings, let alone show something as weak as hormones to one he considers a rival. So who else is there? Tell me."

“The world doesn’t revolve around sex, Kakashi,” Iruka ground out through his teeth. “People can live without it.”

Kakashi studied Iruka for a moment, and then yanked his mask down, crushing their lips together until both were bruised and swollen. All the while, the memory of Itachi's devastating kisses made his body course with heat and his heart clench defensively. Somehow, he managed to draw Iruka into the painful/blissful kiss, even through the tears and anger. When he released his lover, Kakashi ran his thumb over the man's bitten lower lip, soothing it.

“Your actions belie your words,” he whispered eventually.

Iruka glared daggers at him, but said nothing. Finally, he slumped against Kakashi’s chest, surrendering to the arms that wound around his waist. He buried his face in the crook of Kakashi's neck.

“Besides,” Kakashi continued. “I know why Naruto left.”

“What if he doesn’t come back?” Iruka whispered, trembling in Kakashi’s arms.

After a long pause, Kakashi rested his hand on the crown of Iruka’s head. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“So what?” Iruka asked angrily. “That doesn’t change anything,” he added in a more subdued tone.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi said again, pulling Iruka tighter against him. “I should have told you sooner. Naruto has gone with Jiraiya. He has been targeted by Uchiha, Itachi and the organization known as Akatsuki.”

“Uchiha... No,” Iruka whispered, horrified.

“Shhh. As long as he’s with Jiraiya, he’ll be fine. Right now, Naruto is probably off training with the old hermit. He’ll be back. You’ll see. And he will be much stronger.” Kakashi gently placed a kiss on Iruka’s forehead. “He’s growing fast, as a man and as a ninja.”

“You're a hypocrite," Iruka breathed. "Weren't you the one who taught me to face Naruto openly and honestly when he was a genin? Why won't you face him now?"

"And you think that's what you're doing?" Kakashi sighed, shuddering with weariness from the whirlwind of emotion and wondering why Iruka didn't put two and two together. First, he was mad that Kakashi wanted to educate Naruto. Now, he was mad that Kakashi had stopped. When was he going to figure out that all he had to do was open his arms to Naruto himself?

"Did you sleep with Sasuke?" Iruka asked, proving that he was more insightful than Kakashi gave him credit for.

Fully aware that he was digging a grave for their convenient little tryst, Kakashi flatly told the truth. This time, he took the slap that cracked across his skin.

"So who did this to you?" Iruka finally questioned. "I ought to thank them."

"Don't you go anywhere near Itachi!" Kakashi gasped, jerking upwards and instantly regretting it. He was not sure at all if Iruka was breaking up with him with cruel sarcasm, or about to try and avenge him for real, but either way, the thought of this sweet, kind man subjected to Itachi's tsukuyomi curdled what little food he had managed to choke down.

"Itachi was actually here!?"

As the memories he had been resisting of three days of torture and humiliation filled his head, Kakashi went limp, his strength sapped out of him altogether. He couldn't respond. He couldn't even warn Iruka again not to try going after the deserter.

"Kakashi... It's over between us...but I'll always be grateful to you. Without you, I might never have realized how important Naruto is to me. I just...hope you can learn to be as honest with yourself," Iruka choked out after a long, silent interval. He retreated from the room, gulping back tears while Kakashi focused on the blank, white wall.

That was as it should be. He'd never deserved Iruka's grace. Just as he never deserved Minato-sensei. How could he even consider being worthy of the son who had been loved so deeply by that man? Nobody knew that better than Kakashi.

*

It was a long and intense road. Learning the rasengan turned out to be the least of Naruto's worries on his journey with Jiraiya. It was a difficult technique, and one designed by the Fourth, but the struggle to understand and pull it off was nothing compared to dealing with that old hag, Tsunade. How anyone with so many vices could dare to take on the name of Hokage had done Naruto's head in!

But then, he saw her in combat. Against Kabuto...and Orochimaru. That fight was something else.

Just coming to terms with Kabuto's vile, traitorous behavior and messed up medical techniques left Naruto with chills. Add to that Orochimaru's snake-like form―dredging up memories of the second chuunin exam―and Naruto was convinced he would have nightmares about surgeon snakes for months.

If Kabuto and Orochimaru were the stuff of nightmares, then Tsunade and Jiraiya were what dreams were made of. Their heroic battles against themselves, against the odds, and against such a villain left Naruto in awe. He'd played his part, even landing the rasengan for the first time, but for much of the fight he had been an observer in the splash zone. It was incredibly humbling.

He really had been through a lot, but at the end of it all, he had brought Tsunade back to the village―the new Hokage...and the healer who would make things right again. Whatever nasty technique or genjutsu Itachi had used, Tsunade would surely heal Sasuke and Kakashi right up. And Fuzzy Brows, too, for that matter.

Getting the old woman to the hospital was a feat in and of its own, but he succeeded in that, too. It was immensely satisfying to show off to Sakura what an amazing medical ninja he had found to treat their loved ones.

Sasuke was the first, and the healing went just as well as Naruto dreamed. Sakura looked amazed! But...Naruto thought her reaction might be a little premature. As the kunoichi threw her arms about Sasuke's neck, crying, Naruto got a good look at Sasuke's eyes. They were flat and dull, almost as if they were empty... But they weren't empty. Not anymore. Wherever Sasuke's soul had been hiding, it was back now―and forced to contend with a trauma that ran deeper than anything Naruto could imagine. He was disturbed and disquieted; all too eager to lead Tsunade to her next patient.

Unlike Sasuke, Kakashi was concious, but he was so beat down and worn that Naruto barely recognized him. He wished he could hug Kakashi close and tell the man how worried he'd been, but he wasn't sure he could conceal his deeper feelings if he got too close just now, and Kakashi didn't need him complicating matters again.

After seeing the strain both Sasuke and Kakashi still bore, Naruto was relieved to catch up with Iruka. His old teacher was a ray of light―and not just because he had deep pockets when it came to Ichiraku Ramen. Taking some time out to spend with Iruka was just what Naruto needed to recharge himself for the conversation he needed to have with Sasuke.

Now that Sasuke was awake, Naruto was determined to tell the other boy how he felt. He had been waiting for this reunion for some time, and he was eager to get it out of the way. Whatever Sasuke's response, Naruto had to be honest to himself and to the rival he had fallen for, or so he had convinced himself over the course of their time apart... In reality, he never even had the chance to open up to Sasuke.

Time and distance had caused Naruto to underestimate how drastically the confrontation with his brother had affected Sasuke's mentality. He'd thought his offer of companionship might provide a measure of solace. As it turned out, that was a naive, selfish idea.

Recovered though he was from the coma he had remained in while Naruto trained and traveled, Sasuke still seemed to be trapped in his own head, hardly seeing Naruto for the friend and rival who was eager to deepen their relationship. At first, Naruto had been excited by Sasuke's challenge, thinking of the halted chuunin exam showdown and how he had come since, but the wounded, wreckless aggression in Sasuke's eyes soon poisoned his enthusiasm. When he saw Sasuke invoke the lightning glove of the chidori, he went cold, desperate only to prove his worth by breaking that ultimate technique.

His recklessness might have killed Sakura.

Ridden with guilt, Naruto remained on the roof long after Sasuke left, furious with himself for getting caught up in the pain and anguish he knew Sasuke must be going through. That wasn't all, though. Naruto also felt a heavy burden of guilt towards Sakura. For most of her young life she had had a crush on Sasuke, and just as Naruto and his rival had grown close as teammates, Sakura's feelings for Sasuke had deepened as well. Not only had Naruto failed to protect Sasuke, leaving him bedridden and hospitalized to weigh upon Sakura's heart day in, day out...he also meant to win Sasuke's heart, potentially breaking hers.

There, on the roof, demoralized by the sad trickle of water leaking from the pinprick hole his rasengan had made in the water tower, Naruto thought of how he had felt, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop his chakra bomb from blowing her apart. He vowed that in exchange for his intention to wound Sakura's heart, he would never again allow her to be hurt on his watch.

Then, he began brainstorming how he was going to mend his own, gut-wrenching heartache. The short-term solution, and the key to Naruto's odds-defying sunny outlook, was always ramen. This was no secret. Thus, finding a silent, disapproving Jiraiya waiting along the way to scold Naruto with nothing more or less grueling than his sternest look was no surprise. Nor was he surprised to find Iruka waiting there for him, tense and anxious.

"Naruto! Kakashi told me everything! What were you two thinking!?"

Regretfully, Naruto cast a resigned look at the ramen menu he would not be ordering from just yet and took Iruka by the hand, leading him to a more private spot where Naruto could bare his feelings to someone, at least. If Sasuke wouldn't hear him, maybe speaking his heart aloud would help to make sense of the anguish he was holding in.

The chuunin followed wordlessly, picking up on something of the gravity that was weighing down on Naruto, so the boy led him all the way to the roof of his own apartment in perfect view of the Hokage rock face, where they could talk freely.

“Iruka-sensei…" Naruto sat dejectedly with his feet dangling off the edge. "I―I thought Sasuke was starting to like me, if only a little," he confessed shyly, glancing from the corner of his eye to guage Iruka's reaction. The instructor remained neutral. "He came to save me from Itachi, didn’t he? But...he still hates me. No… He hates me even more than before. What should I do?”

As he spoke, Naruto became aware of tears escaping the corners of his eyes to slip down his cheeks, wetting the high collar of his jumpsuit. He hated them, but he couldn't deny that they were appropriate.

*

Nothing was more distressing than seeing the powerhouse of positivity within Naruto crumble. He hadn't yet explicitly stated his feelings toward Sasuke, but Iruka could read them clearly enough. From what little Kakashi had brusqly told him about the fight before citing Sasuke as an excuse to rush of, Iruka could hardly picture what could have set the jounin on edge and caused him to send Iruka to take care of Naruto. The look in Naruto's eyes, though, that said a lot. That said Naruto feard a terrible loss, and that he and Sasuke had been on the brink of doing one another serious, lasting harm.

“That's not true, Naruto…” Iruka shifted closer, lifting Naruto’s chin so that the boy was looking up at him, tears filling his honest eyes. “Sasuke…doesn’t hate you, he―” _He loves you too much._ That was what Iruka had been planning to say, but he couldn’t bring the words to his mouth. Put simply, he was jealous of Naruto’s feelings for the cold-hearted Uchiha boy. He was jealous of the capacity of his ability to hurt Naruto so badly. “He’s going through a tough time. The genjutsu that was used on him...” Iruka remembered the haunted way that Kakashi's gaze had retreated from him after fighting Itachi. "It damages the mind."

Slowly, Naruto nodded, and then laid his head against Iruka’s shoulder, clinging defensively to the front of his former instructor's vest. “Can I stay here a little longer?” he asked.

“As long as you need,” Iruka answered, lifting one hand to stroke Naruto’s hair. _Forever, if that's what you want._

“I… I was going to tell him when he woke up,” Naruto said quietly, surprising Iruka out of a sentimental reverie.

“Tell him what?” Iruka prompted, though he was afraid of the answer.

Naruto struggled for a moment with some inner debate, but he continued in the end, the need to get the truth off his chest outweighing whatever pride or embarrassment gave him pause. He turned his face in to Iruka's shoulder hiding his eyes and almost muffling his words.

“That he’s important to me. That he’s more than a friend. I… I think I...”

Iruka almost moaned, hugging the boy tightly and pressing his lips into messy blond hair. He wanted nothing more than Naruto’s happiness, but to explain Sasuke’s actions would be a betrayal of the Uchiha boy's secrets. Besides… Naruto was in his arms, depending on him for comfort. It was a temptation he had long resisted, but now he was beginning to wonder why. So Kakashi could have his fun? So Sasuke could let him down and cause Naruto this pain? Taking a deep breath, Iruka reminded himself of the last argument he had had with Kakashi. No more hiding behind others. No more treating Naruto like a child. No more running away from his own truth.

“I’m sure Sasuke will come around,” Iruka soothed, not really sure of any such thing. “But if, for some reason, he doesn’t...it’s not the end of the world. There are others who care about you, Naruto. Though you might not see it.”

“Who?” Naruto asked bluntly.

“Sakura, for one, and Kakashi...” Naruto first flinched, then stiffened in his arms, and Iruka winced at his thoughtless words. “Me,” he added quickly to take away the sting. He leaned back, peeling his shoulder from Naruto's hiding face so that the boy could see the intent in his eyes. “Especially me.”

His tears drying, Naruto swallowed heavily, calming rapidly. He smiled, hesitantly. “You were my first friend. And the first person to make me feel like I belong, even just a little bit.”

Gently, Iruka caressed Naruto’s cheek, so lost in the parting of the clouds in those beautiful blue eyes that he was unaware of the openness of that gesture. “You do belong. You’ve grown so much as a ninja, learned so much as young man. Maybe someday you’ll make a fine Hokage,” he added with a small grin.

Naruto wasn't the same child swayed aay such flattery. His face fell a little. "I let everyone down," he said. "I let Sasuke get hurt."

Shaking his head, Iruka steeled his gaze. He needed Naruto to understand. "Even Jiraiya could do nothing for Sasuke. You survived. You came back to us. You fought Orochimaru to protect our new Hokage and brought her home. You haven't let anybody down. That man... Uchiha, Itachi... He took down Kakashi."

"Kakashi-sensei..."

The sadness in that whisper prickled Iruka's temper, nudging him to exasperation. “Don’t tell me you’re still hung up about Kakashi after what he did to you!”

Naruto’s eyes widened, and a blush instantly rose to his cheeks. He wriggled as if to break Iruka's hold, then froze. “How do you know about that?”

Iruka gaped for a moment, horrified by his lack of discretion. He quickly let go of Naruto’s and sat back a bit, avoiding the genin’s eyes. “I, uh…”

“Did he brag?” Naruto asked coldly.

Iruka winced. He wished he could deny it, but in essence, that was exactly what Kakashi had done. “It’s not like that, Naruto. Kakashi and I are...good friends. He told me in confidence. I just―”

Naruto’s scowl cut Iruka off mid sentence, and he just sat there silently, unable to say anything more. For a short while, Naruto seemed angry, but then he deflated, his glare diffusing until he was staring uncertainly at the surface behind Iruka.

“Na... Naruto...?” Iruka chanced hesitantly.

“Sakura is only interested in Sasuke,” Naruto said quietly. "Kakashi...cares, I think...but he won't show it." He seemed more resigned than angry. "Sasuke just sees me as an enemy, and I don't know how to fix that..." Naruto looked up, his earnest gaze piercing deep. “But when no one else would talk to me, you bought me ramen. And now, when no one else seems to want me, you’re still the only one who'll reach out and accept me.”

Iruka, swayed by the sadness in the boy's eyes, leaned in toward Naruto before he even knew what he was doing. For once ignoring the consequences, he took Naruto’s face in his hands, and placed a soft kiss on the genin’s lips.

“I know what it’s like to be alone,” he whispered. “Which is why you never will be as long as I’m alive.”

Naruto stared at him in shock, then slowly began to tremble. He turned his face aside and wiped his arm across his eyes, and finally Iruka realized that he was crying again. Saying nothing else, he just held Naruto until the boy stopped trembling and sniffing, soothingly running his fingers through spiky blond hair.

“Hungry?” Iruka asked before Naruto had a chance to say anything.

Instantly, Naruto’s face took on an expression of interest. He nodded a little warily.

“Then why don’t we head to Ichiraku’s?” Iruka offered, extending his hand and climbing back to his feet.

A grin suddenly splitting his face, Naruto took it. “Can I have seconds?”

Iruka laughed genuinely. “You haven’t even had one bowl yet,” he pointed out.

A moment later, a hawk flew overhead and Iruka sighed. "Naruto, I'm sorry. I―"

"You have to go do your job," Naruto said, proving himself vastly matured. "It's okay. Just promise me...I can see you later."

Smiling, Iruka felt his heart lift with elation. "I might be a bit late tonight, so you should eat without me, but―if you wouldn't mind―I'd like to see you when I'm finished."

Still holding Iruka's hand, Naruto squeezed it and then kissed Iruka firmly on the cheek. "Come see me," he said, his voice a little husky. "I'll wait up."

As it turned out, Naruto got his Ichiraku date in the end, but it was Sakura with whom he feasted on his favorite ramen. A year ago, he would have been overjoyed.

He was glad she had reached out, though. His claim that Sakura cared only about Sasuke may have been a little hasty and tainted by his lingering guilt. Now that Iruka had lifted Naruto's spirits and divested him of some of the loneliness that had been weighing down, he could appreciate that there were other kinds of bonds and relationships. Just because Sasuke didn't love him back didn't mean he was all alone. Knowing that gave him the strength to hear what Sakura had to tell him about Sasuke and respond with hope.

He reminded himself that what mattered wasn't how much Sasuke loved him...but how much love he had for Sasuke. There was a future for the two of them. He was sure of it. It just might not be everything Naruto wanted, and that was ok. He was lucky that someone as kind and wonderful as Iruka wanted to spend time with him and...maybe, just maybe, there was something more there. If Iruka could see Naruto as something more than just a student or a friend...he'd really like that.

*

Kakashi was shaken for a good while after springing between Naruto and Sasuke―and two lethal techniques that could have ended any or all of them. Those boys should have been sneaking up to the roof to make out, not trying to kill each other! Naruto can't possibly have known what the rasengan would do in direct opposition to the chidori. He had such faith in Sasuke's skills and superiority that he no doubt thought it would just give him a slight edge. How Jiraiya could teach him that technique without hammering home the devastation it could do...

And Sasuke. Kakashi knew for a fact that Sasuke was well aware of chidori's killing intent, and probably completely oblivious to the fact that Naruto had learned anything capable of countering it. That he had used it against someone he obviously cared for made Kakashi's blood run cold.

But that wasn't all. The near-miss clash of chidori on rasengan forced Kakashi to face his experience with Itachi and think it through for the first time since he had emerged from the world of excrutiating sensation that was tsukuyomi. There were questions he needed to ask, even if he had no hope of finding the answers.

Sasuke's descent into wild, rage-filled darkness was driven by his torture at the hands of Itachi and enhanced by the curse sealed into his flesh. Kakashi, too, had been trapped within the tsukuyomi and forced to endure unspeakable horrors for a veritable eternity―but Sasuke's eternity was two days short of the limit to which Kakashi had been exposed. 24 hours. That was only a third of the time Kakashi knew the tsukuyomi could last for. The question, then, was _why_. Had Itachi been so pressed by Jiraiya and Naruto that two thirds of a second were too much to spare to complete the technique? Or did reducing the amount of time that passed within tsukuyomi conserve essential chakra?

Or, did Itachi have less practical reasons for sparing Sasuke the full brunt of that technique? The same reasons, perhaps, for sparing Sasuke's life the night of the Uchiha massacre...

Just 24 hours trapped in tsukuyomi had been enough to debilitate Sasuke, engaging this berserk fury in him upon his recovery. Any longer, and his mind may have been beyond rescue. For whatever reason, Itachi had stayed his hand, leaving the only other surving member of the blood that could oppose him alive, and instigating a killing instinct that would pit Sasuke against him without mercy.

For whatever reason...Kakashi, too, had been spared. His resilience in the face of the tsukuyomi was clearly beyond Itachi's expectations, but Kakashi knew that the mere second for which he had been rendered immobile and defenseless could have spelled his death. In both instances, Itachi had chosen temporary incapacitation over death.

It was difficult to believe there could be any shred of loyalty in a man who had murdered countless of his own kindred. It was difficult to imagine that Itachi could have any other reasons for letting Kakashi and Sasuke live. It was unlikely that he had put Sasuke through so much without intentionally fostering and nurturing that seed of vengeful hatred into a seething, twisting thicket.

_Why!?_

Whatever the reason, Kakashi knew he had to try and deter Sasuke from playing right into that man's hands. His heart went out to the boy. He didn't want to imagine that Sasuke had suffered the same devastating counterbalance of pain in the wake of pleasure to which Kakashi had been subjected. That would be twisted, even for Itachi... But for Sasuke, who had finally begun to set foot back in the realms of light and love after so long to be plunged back into the depths of darkness and despair was just as cruel.

Suspecting just how deep Sasuke's feelings for Naruto ran, Kakashi reluctantly understood, in turn, the meaning of his turning the chidori upon Naruto. There were other ways for Sasuke to test his strength. There were other ways for him to put Naruto in his place. There was absolutely no way Sasuke could have known the power of the brand new rasengan Naruto had brought to that fight. He had chosen to wield a technique designed for assassination against an opponent he believed incapable of countering it. There was no question that he had meant to try and kill Naruto, and in doing so, rid himself of any obstacle of emotion that stood in the way of his revenge. His intent was to extinguish his own emotions―to destroy his own soul.

It sapped Kakashi of his hope. It drained his will.

All the work he had done with Sasuke was unravelling before his eyes. At this rate, the curse mark was bound to break free of its seal, and that was the least of his worries.

Just for a few seconds, Kakashi allowed himself to cry. The tears he shed were for Obito and Rin. Even after all those years, he had been gripped by abject terror at seeing Sakura race to come between the rasengan and chidori. He would die before he let his three proteges go through what his foolish young self had.

He would kill Sasuke before he let the boy live the rest of his life with the blood of his team on his hands. The only hope now for Sasuke was to open his heart to Naruto and choose the path of love over revenge. Kakashi clearly wasn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens in tsukuyomi stays in tsukuyomi... #SorryNotSorry
> 
> And here we are! All up to date with what's ready to post so far! On one hand, you're probably going to have to wait for more. On the other, I promise you won't have to wait fifteen years, so just hang tight for the season five chapter! 
> 
> (I only realized today that it's basically worked out in a perfect approximation of a season per chapter... But that won't hold up once we start dodging filler content and gigantic blocks of combat.)


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